


Ribbons

by Rhodi



Category: Undertale (Video Game)
Genre: Borderline Personality Disorder, Depression, Distress, Dreams, F/M, Loss of Trust, Love, New Year's Eve, Original au, Possession, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, REMTale, SansxFrisk - Freeform, Schizophrenia, darker, rated M for violence, trigger warning
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-04-23
Updated: 2017-09-15
Packaged: 2018-06-03 22:07:21
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 16
Words: 44,054
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6628525
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Rhodi/pseuds/Rhodi
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Formerly known as "New Years Present"</p><p> Frisk deals with battles time and time again- her PTSD from the Underground, the constant hate between Humans and Monsters, and more. What will happen if she sinks too deep in something she cannot grasp?</p><p>~This is based off my original AU, REMTale. I hope you all like it; it's the first time I've ever done something like this before.~</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

SANS

I started pacing back in forth in his room. It was New Year's Eve, and I still had not yet managed to find a present for Frisk.

Think, think, think, I thought. I was completely stumped. I didn't even know where to start! What kind of present would I give her? Did she like jewelry?

Maybe, I don't know... I never took her for much of a girly girl like that, I thought. I tried to recall some of the things that she liked. Unfortunately, the things she loved were usually things that you couldn't go and buy. She wasn't materialistic. Suddenly, there was a knock at the door.

"Hello, brother! May I come in?" Papyrus chimed.

I sighed, and replied, "Sure, 'Pap. Come in."

Papyrus opened the door and stood near the frame, with a goofy smile on his face, "Good morning brother! I hope you slept well. I just made breakfast for us, so let's go downstairs and eat!"

I chuckled, and headed down the stairs with my brother. I could smell the pasta sauce from my room; Papyrus always made spaghetti for breakfast. I reached the kitchen and grabbed a bowl of spaghetti, and sat down across from Papyrus at our dining table. It didn't take long for Papyrus to catch onto my anxious and stressed expression.

"Sans, my brother. What is it that has your mind all wrapped up?" Papyrus questioned.

I looked Papyrus straight in the eyes for this one, "Well 'Pap, I guess you could say... something's getting at me, down to the bone."

Papyrus' eyes shot up from his half-eaten spaghetti and glared at me, "Brother, if you weren't in such a state, I would have thrown you out of the house right now."

I chuckled, but decided to really tell him, "Honestly 'Pap, it's about Frisk."

Papyrus smiled at the name. "Ah, Frisk! She's so adorable. What about her?"

I blushed a little and looked away from my brother, thinking about Frisk in her over-sized sweaters, and her dorky little grin.

"Well, I really wanted to get Frisk a present for New Years, but I have no idea what to get her."

"Aww!" Papyrus exclaimed, "how adorable! What do you think she might like?"

"I have absolutely no idea."

"Well, rats," Papyrus sulked, "we could at least go looking and see if there's anything that looks nice!"

I shrugged, and gave a smile, "Sure, 'Pap."

"Alright," Papyrus bubbled, "Let me just call Frisk and ask if she would like to come with us. Maybe that will also help us finding a present for her!"

I gasped, "No! No no no, she can't know! It's supposed to be a secret. At least, for now it's supposed to be a secret."

"Oh, okay!" Papyrus realized, "But, first, I do in fact need to call Mettaton and tell her that I'm going to be out for the day."

I nodded, and took the bowls of spaghetti and put them on the counters in the kitchen. I heard their conversation in the dinning area.

"Yes dear, we're going to be out for the day. How come? Oh, I'm going with Sans! He wanted to find the perfect present for Frisk for New Years!

I turn and hiss at Papyrus, "Dude! It's a secret!"

Papyrus turned to me, "Yes, I know it's supposed to be a secret Sans, but I can't just hide stuff from Mettaton. That would be wrong!"

I heard a giggle on the other end of the phone, and they both said their goodbyes to each other.

"Alright," Papyrus beamed, "let's go!"

\------

FRISK

I jump out of the shower, and after I dry off I hurry up and put on what I feel most comfortable in: A pair of shorts, and the baggiest t-shirt I own. I practically tumble down the stairs; all I could sense was the sweet smell of Toriel's breakfast pancakes. I could hear my stomach growling at the aroma.

I run into the kitchen and greet Toriel, "Hey Mom, how was your morning?"

Toriel looks from her pan filled with pancake mix and glows at me with a welcoming smile, "Good morning, my child. My morning was exceptional, how about yours?"

"It's been good; I smelled your pancakes from upstairs and I had to come down as soon as I could," I laughed.

Toriel giggled back, "Well don't worry, Frisk, I made plenty for you to munch on."

Toriel finished making the last pancake in the pan, and she laid them onto the stack that she had made on a plate to the other side. I walk around and reach over to grab a few, and I sit down and start to eat. I'm not even done with my food by the time Mettaton comes banging on the door.

"Sweetie, let me in! Please, Darling!"

I jump up out of my chair and open the door for Mettaton. Mettaton sees it's me who opens the door and their face brightens. They pull me into a tight hug, and doesn't seem like they are going to let go soon.

"Oh, Darling, it's you!"

"It's ni-ice to se-e you, too," I gasp. Mettaton realizes that they have too tight of a grip on me, and quickly lets me back down onto the ground.

"Oh, I'm sorry about that, Darling. Did I hurt you?" they addressed.

"Nah, I'm fine!" I answered, "Hey Mettaton, how come you are here?"

"Well darling, I have decided to take you out on a girls day out! What'dya say?" they cheered.

I look over at Toriel and plead, "Mom, can I please go?"

"Sure honey," she began, and then she pointed at Mettaton, "you better make sure you take care of her, though."

Mettaton smiles broadly and scoffs, "Of course I will take care of her. We will be back before the New Year's Ball drops!"

Toriel smirks, "Alright! Oh, and please, could you bring some snacks for the party?"

"Sure thing!" I assure Toriel. We say goodbye to each other, and Mettaton zips out the door with their hand in mine, pulling me along.

\------

We get onto the sidewalk, and we keep a casual pace there.

"Hey, Mettaton, where are we going?" I ask.

Mettaton looks over at me and giggles, "Well, first we are going to get you a very cute outfit for the party, and then we are going to hang out for the rest of the day, doing whatever we feel like. Before we go home though, we do have to make sure that we get Toriel's snacks for the party."

My eyes widen,"Mettaton, we aren't like- you know, like- actually getting me an outfit, right?"

"Nonsense with your embarrassment of it. Of course we are!" Mettaton beamed.

"I don't know," I commented, "I don't want to get dressed all fancy for this party. Only friends are going to be there, I don't think anyone else is going to dress up very formal."

"We don't have to get an outfit that is formal, Darling," Mettaton pointed out, "we can get something sort of casual, too. However, Darling, I will make sure that you look absolutely adorable for this party!"

I blush a little and giggle. I look over at Mettaton, and their eyes are in the air- already gawking at the outfits they know they're going to find when we get to some stores. Since the arrival of monsters, some humans are not too keen to interact with them. In comparison to the previous era that monsters were on the surface however, it wasn't as bad now. Although, there were still shops that would not accept monsters, and so it was hard for us to find shops at first to buy our clothes. It took us about an hour to find a store, but we were able to find a wonderful boutique that a monster-human couple owned, and they welcomed us with open arms.

"Oh, just how wonderful!" the girl exclaimed, "it is so nice to see humans befriending the monster community- especially after all that has been happening these days."

Mettaton smiled at her and gawked, "It's quite alright, Darling. May I ask how long you and your husband have been together?"

I looked around the corner of the register we were at, and I noticed the monster. He was very tall, and he almost looked like Grillby. One thing that was quite distinguishable however was that this monster had a dazzling, green glow to its flames- outlined with a beautiful teal.

"We've been together for about two years now. We run this boutique together," the girl smiled.

Mettaton kept gossiping with the lady, while I went over to the racks of clothes that strode along the boutique. Each rack had their own assortment of colors and patterns, and it all seemed overwhelming at first. I was never really one to divulge into fashion, and so these clothes sent my head to an ache. They all looked very beautiful however, and because of that I stop in my tracks with a flabbergasted expression.

"Is there anything I can help you with, Miss?"

I turn around, and I notice the monster from before, looming over me. I tilt my head back more to be able to see his face, and he has a dashing smile.

"I don't know, exactly," I blush of embarrassment from knowing absolutely nothing about what I am doing. He seems to pick up on this fairly quickly, and starts to rummage through the abundance of clothing.

"Well, let's start from the easiest questions up. For instance, what is your favorite color- or what color do you feel the most comfortable in?"

"I'm not exactly sure. I like blues, oranges, pinks?"

"Ah, alright. Because of this, we might want to look in our spring collection of clothing. You will certainly be able to find something you like in that section," he beamed.

I nodded with a smile, and followed him over just a little bit from the other racks. Some colors were very vibrant, and some were very pale. I started browsing at them, still a little confused. The monster looked at me and smirked, and he went onto the other side of the racks to rummage through more clothes that I might like. Occasionally we would lift up some sort of outfit, and we would either grunt for it to be put back, or nod in approval. Suddenly, he squealed in excitement.

"A-ha! Look at this, isn't it wonderful?"

I looked up at him to be staring at a navy blue dress, with the sleeves cut off at their sides. Even though there were a few flower designs on it, it was very simple. But it spoke to me. It looked like it was going to be a bit poof-y down the ends, and that it would reach to my knees. I immediately loved it.

"T-that looks beautiful!" I stuttered.

"How about you go try it on so your friend can see how it looks on you?" he asked.

He handed me the dress, and I immediately went to go try it on in their dressing room. I threw off my original clothes and slipped on the dress, and when I stood in the mirror I unexpectedly squealed in delight. It went down to my knees like I planned, which is a good sign- I don't want to feel self-conscious about myself in a dress. It was poof-y, but not too poof-y to look ridiculous or, lolita status. The sleeves fit me perfectly, and I felt like a beautiful blue iris in the spring. I jumped out of the dressing room, going over to the register where Mettaton and the girl were still gossiping on monster-human worldly news. Mettaton completely shut up when they looked at me, and their eyes when big. I could hear them try to hold in a squeak, before they rushed at me in a hug.

"Gah! You look absolutely dashing, my Darling! Wonderful!" they cheered.

I blushed out of my low self-esteem, "Do you really think the dress looks good on me?"

Mettaton gave me a face of surprise, "Of course I do, Darling! You look marvelous. You look stunning."

I smiled broadly, and I skipped around a little before heading back into the dressing room to change back into my old clothes. I came out, and I gave the dress to Mettaton, where they proceeded to pay for the dress at the register.

\------

We started on our way back to Toriel's house. Muffet had a little cafe that wasn't too far from the boutique, and since she knew us she always gave us a reasonable price on her desserts and such. Also, it was much better going to her place than trying to find a store that would except a monster- and a human that befriended monsters. It didn't take us long to get to Toriel's house, all of our goodies in hand. We knocked on the door and were greeted by a warm smile and hug from Toriel. 

"Welcome back, you two!" she exclaimed, "how did your day go?"

I started to comment on how we couldn't have been gone for that long, when I look at the clock on the stove and realize that we had been gone for around five hours.

"How were we gone for so long?" I thought aloud. It must have been from my inability to have a fashion sense. I know it took a while to find a store, and a little bit to get back, but the trip to Muffett's cafe wasn't that long. It would have had to have been the time where I was picking out the dress for the party.

"Don't worry dear," Toriel assured, "it's not like you missed anything. I just spent my time cleaning the house and such." 

Mettaton's eyes widened as well as their grin, "Darling, why don't you go and change into your dress that you just got? I'm sure your mother would love to see what you look like in it."

I smiled, giggled, and took the dress to go and put it on in a separate room. I still absolutely adored the way the dress fit me. I felt like a little flower. I giggled and ran back into the main room, or foyer, where Mettaton and Toriel were waiting to see me in the dress. 

\------

SIX HOURS LATER 

SANS 

Papyrus insisted that I at least try and dress up nicer. Instead of wearing my good ol' slippers, shorts, a plain t-shirt and my old jacket, I was wearing a pair of Converses with some black jeans and a navy blue hoodie. I had Frisk's present in hand, and I really hoped she liked it. Papyrus decided to wear an orange hoodie, but with track pants and a pair of running shoes. At the very least, it was much more mundane than what he usually wears. 

We walked up the steps to Toriel's house and knocked on her door, expecting her to greet us. Instead, Mettaton opened the door and flew themselves at Papyrus. I scoffed, and walked past them and their little "festivities". I saw Toriel working in the kitchen, but there was no sign of Frisk. However, as I was looking I already saw Alphys and Undyne snuggled together on the floor watching an anime. I started to freeze up. What if Frisk didn't like the gift? Should I even be giving a gift for New Years Eve? I knew nothing about these human celebrations, and so I had no idea to what do to for them. I started to run a cold sweat, and started shivering. 

Papyrus and Mettaton walked in the house giggling, arm in arm. Toriel noticed the laughter and turned around to see the three of us.

"Oh hello! It is so lovely to see you and Papyrus," she smiled. 

"Thanks, Toriel," I replied, "it's nice to see you too! It hasn't really been too long, but hey, what can you say? I get really bone-ly without you guys."

Papyrus' face went red, and both Mettaton and Toriel started to giggle. Then, out of the kitchen came Asgore, starting to set up the party bowls for the New Years Ball Drop.

"Well, I think that does it for the head count on the party. Where's Frisk, though?" Toriel asked, looking around the rooms.

Undyne turned around from facing the TV on the other side of the room, "I think the last time I saw the little punk was when she was upstairs in her room. Hey, Punk! Get down here!" 

I heard a small 'I'm coming!' from upstairs, and when the door shut and I saw Frisk walking down the steps my heart skipped a beat. Her outfit was absolutely stunning. Her dress made her look like a little bulb, just blooming into a beautiful flower. What made her look even more adorable was the way the dress hugged her slight chubby figure. She was so cute. 

Frisk saw me and immediately her eyes went to the floor and her face flushed. I don't think I could have been able to breathe, even if I had an oxygen mask taped around my face. I heard Mettaton giggling behind me with Papyrus, and I looked over my shoulder and shot them a death glare. They continued to giggle.

Frisk intertwined her hands and walked up to me with a cute, uncontrollable grin. I noticed how she tried to keep her eyes on me, but they always ended up back onto the floor. I couldn't take it anymore. I walked up to her and I wrapped my arms around her, hugging her as tight as I could. She gasped and I could feel the heat radiating off of her blush. She wrapped her arms around my waist and hugged me back just as tight, resting her head in the crook of my neck and shoulder blade.

"How was your day?" her voice muffled by my hoodie.

"It was good, how about yours?" I whisper in her ear, hugging her tighter.

She shivers as I whisper in her ear and giggles a little bit. "It was good. This is the dress Mettaton and I spent almost the entire day on! It was a bit embarrassing. I have no fashion sense."

I chuckle and I pull her away to look in her eyes. "You don't need a 'fashion sense'. You're too beautiful for it."

Her face turned red as a tomato as she looked to the other side of the room, practically anywhere from my gaze, "Thank you."

I thought this was my chance, and so I decided to take the box from my hand and present the gift to Frisk. "You're New Years present, ma'am," I joked.

Her smile widened, and she took the box. "Sans, thank you. Thank you so much!"

She started to open the box, and upon opening it she found an entire collection of hair ribbons she could wear like little bows. She giggled and took a creme colored one out of the box, and tried to tie it around the ponytail she was wearing and into a bow. 

She kept on fumbling with it before giving up and asking with a blush, "Do you mind helping me with this, please?"

"No problem," I replied. I took the ribbon into my hands and carefully tied it into a bow around her ponytail-holder. It looked beautiful, and it matched the dress completely.

\------

"Five! Four! Three! Two! One!"

All of the confetti went off in the house, and hugs were introduced to everyone. I look across the room and I see Frisk hugging Toriel tight, the two wishing each other a very wonderful new year, telling them how much they love each other. I walked up to Frisk, and I scooped her up my arms.

"Happy New Year."

Before she could say anything, I planted a long kiss on her lips.

Gotta start the New Years off with a bang, right?


	2. Chapter 2

FRISK  
\-------

_I stir in bed, even though my conscious won't realize that until I wake up with a painful backache. My dreams have been getting worse and worse, as my mind is trying to push all of the bad memories out of the way. Escaping the Underground wasn't the easiest thing, after all._

_I'm crying. I'm crying and I'm trying to SAVE a loved one. I'm trying to make sure that for their last few moments, they can be happy. They can feel._

_They can be happy._

_I'm cut, and in places so deep, that they practically go down to the bone._

_I'm calling out for help, but nobody came._

_This is not how it happened._

_I scream, and I feel the blast of what feels like a thousand suns knock me back into what feels like a never-ending Void. I can barely open my eyes. It's too painful._

_Will my DETERMINATION run out, of all times to do so?_  
_No, it can't be. I refuse._

_I slowly crawl along the floor, only when I look down there seems to be none of what I am speaking of. The bleeding certainly hasn't stopped, and I can certainly feel my mind sinking into its own void; void of any consciousness. Still, I try with all of my might to get to this loved one. I tug on his cloak. I will keep trying to SAVE him until the very end._

\--------------------------------

I gasp and shoot up from my bed. I clutch my chest where my SOUL would be, and I cry out in pain. It's been very hard trying to recover from the wound; the massive chunk that had been taken away from my SOUL. Sometimes I can forget and feel as I had before we escaped, but it has been a tough road- dealing with the consequences of being so careless in the last fight to break the Barrier.

Toriel had apparently heard my crying and weeping, and rushed up the stairs into my room. She opened the door to see me with my arms wrapped around my legs, crying into my knees. She sat next to the bed and gave me the best hug that she could with me sitting like that. She knew it wasn't the best idea to try and pry me into stuff, mainly because she knew that I was one to deal with my own problems. And sometimes, hugs can't really fix things like this. They can't fix a broken SOUL. Even so, she stayed for a little while. She knew that even if I didn't want a hug at the moment, it wasn't that I didn't want her around. After I calmed down, she had decided to ask what had happened.

"I just had sort of a bad dream. It just made my SOUL hurt a lot."

She frowned; she knew why it hurt my SOUL so much.

"Well, I would stay determined. Alphys is working whenever she can to fix this wound."

I nod, and Toriel gives me a hug and a kiss goodnight before going back to bed. 

Stay determined, huh?

\----------------------------------------------------------------------------------

It's been about 2 or 3 weeks since the night of the party, where Sans had kissed me at the drop of the New Years party. I still was ecstatic over it, even though part of me felt troubled. I've heard of all the terrible things that happen to couples who are human and monster. I've never really heard a story of those types of couples that went quite well. It was either they were getting hurt, harassed, or sometimes even murdered. I try to shove it into the back of my mind, but it keeps popping up. It's not something that you can really escape from when you're the only human that came out from the mountain with a herd of monsters behind you. Now everyone is looking towards me, either in inspiration or in utter hatred. My chest aches at the thought of hurting anyone in my family just because I liked someone and wanted to be more than friends. My chest aches for other reasons as well, but it's something I have- over time- almost grown accustom to.

But something that bothered me the most was that I didn't just like Sans. I loved him. I loved him like a best friend, and even more so. We have been through everything together. He was even the first monster to ever meet me once I had escaped through the Ruins.

"Honey! Are you coming downstairs?"

Oh, yikes. There was Toriel calling for me.

"I'm coming! I will be down in just a second."

I run out of my room and head downstairs to the kitchen and dining table. On the table, there were the usual pancakes Toriel always made for breakfast. It is possibly the best food I have ever had in my entire life. I go to reach for a few pancakes so I could put them on my plate, and I made sure that Toriel remembered to leave the syrup and butter that was on the table. I notice Toriel comes over to the table and grabs some pancakes as well before she starts eating with me.

"Thanks for making breakfast this morning. How was your morning?" I asked.

"My morning was fine dear, and how was yours? Haha, it sure took you quite some time to get out of bed and downstairs."

"I'm sorry, I was just really slow today." 

It was true. However, it wasn't really for the reasons that she was thinking about. I didn't want to tell her that the reason why I was slow was because of my wound. Mainly because she would worry about me, and I hate it when she worries about me.

"Ah, my child! I wanted to tell you that the photographs that we had all taken at the party for the new year have been finalized and printed out. I made sure that they were made to look their very best so that we may put the pictures up around the fireplace in the living room."

I couldn't help but crack a wild smile, "That's great! I can't wait to see what they look like, since- coming from you- they do look very spiffy." I wiggle my eyebrows at Toriel at the word 'spiffy'.

Toriel chuckles and we finish eating our breakfast together with small talk.

\--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

I had helped Toriel clean up the plates and pans that she had used to make breakfast. After I had done that, we were supposed to go over to Papyrus' house to spend the day there with family and friends. I grabbed my coat, and Toriel and I had started down the road to go to Papyrus' house.

I was kind of hoping that I would see Sans when we went over to the house. Unfortunately, when Toriel and I arrived at Papyrus' house, he was nowhere to be seen.

"I'm sorry Sans hasn't come down! That lazybones just hasn't been getting the right sleep lately, I guess," Papyrus frowned.

I start to take off my coat and put it on the hanger, next to the front door. "Well, what's been happening to him?"

Papyrus sighed, "I don't know exactly. Sans has been staying up in his room quite a lot lately. Whenever I come to check in on him, it seems like he is fine. Always cracking those terrible puns. At night, though, I can hear him in his room. He's not doing well like he says he is. I just don't know why he can't talk about it to his cool, great brother."

Papyrus sits down on the couch and sighs. Toriel joins with him and tries to cheer him up; it usually works, since Papyrus isn't really one to be sad for long. I was curious about what Papyrus really meant, so I decided to go up into Sans' room myself to see how he was doing.

I walk up the stairs, and I knock on the door quietly. But nobody came. I tried knocking on the door a little louder, and I heard Sans shuffling. He didn't say a word, though.

Sans opened the door just a tad to see who it was. He saw that it was me, and his blackened sockets readjusted to their normal pinpricks. 

"Hey, how are you doing?" His voice was all grumbly and low. I assumed that I just woke him up.

"I'm sorry if I woke you up. It's just that Toriel and I came over to hang out with you and 'Pap, and he said that you really weren't doing that well."

Sans sighs and opens up his door a little more.

"It's just- you know, um. You remember what happened before the Barrier broke, don't you?"

My breath hitches a little, and right after I don't exactly know why it did. It wasn't that serious or scary of a question.

"Y-yeah, I remember," I lean forward a tad away from the ones downstairs, "You do?"

Sans shook his head and gave me a funny look. I leaned forward even more, and I brought my voice down to a whisper.

"What do you mean, then?"

"I mean this."

Sans started to tug at his SOUL, and then Papyrus ran up the stairs. Sans stopped tugging his SOUL and gave Papyrus a sheepish grin. 

"Hey 'Pap, how'ya doing?"

"You're finally out of that dirty bedroom you call yours!" Papyrus grabbed Sans and hugged him, "Maybe next time if something like this happens, we should just call Frisk. She'll fix things right up!"

I look over at Sans, still hugging Papyrus. His eyes were pinpricks no longer, as they turned as black as an abyss. Staring right at me. 

\---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Papyrus had made Sans get dressed in clothes that weren't his pajamas, and made him come downstairs to hang out with us. Sans seemed a little hesitant, but he eventually did. He seemed really shaken the entire time Toriel and I were at the house. Then again, Papyrus described Sans as practically being like this in general now. I tried to cheer Sans up with whatever I could, and I could see it was working. Even if it was little by little. Around the evening when we were all finishing up a card game, I decided to ask Toriel something.

"Hey Mom, do you mind if I stay over at their place tonight?"

Papyrus jumped up in excitement. "It's going to be a sleep-over!"

I look over at Sans. I see his eyes soften a bit and he gives me a small smile of appreciation. If Sans and I are at least around each other, he can tell me what's going on. It also seems like it might make him feel a bit better.

Toriel nods, "Yes, you can stay over for the night. You still have to get up at the same time in the morning, though! I do need your help at the school."

I smile at her. I remember when we had first broken the barrier, and when I had told Toriel I wanted to live with her she started telling me all of her ideas about what she wanted to do when we had started a new life Above Ground. Her dream was to start a school for Monsters and Humans, and that is exactly what she achieved. She now lives in a small little cottage, just on the side of the campus of her school. RoseTail Elementary and Junior High School. Since I should be in my third year of high school, I can't go to the school to learn. Even so, Toriel homeschools me because she knows how much of a hard time I'd have going to a normal high school. During my days I'm either doing my own work, or I am tutoring kids- even teaching them from time to time. Sans comes around to help with the little things, and Papyrus comes around whenever he can get the chance to. He's usually busy with his real job since it's making sure Mettaton stays safe out in the Above Ground. Mettaton became a pop sensation, but with that came a lot of heat from humans. Papyrus is employed under MTT to provide security; being a bodyguard for Mettaton. I'm surprised he isn't over at Mettaton's house right now, actually.

"Hey 'Pap, something just came to me. Shouldn't you be over at Mettaton's place right now taking care of them?"

Papyrus looks over and explains, "Well, I decided to stay over at the house this week because I was worried about Sans. I told Mettaton, and they seemed alright with it. They would rather have me with them, but they understood and asked someone else to step in for me until Sans got better."

"Oh, okay. I was just wondering- we all remember what happened the night after the party."

Everyone looked down at the ground as it fell silent in the room. After the party had happened, Mettaton was really tired. Papyrus offered to escort them to their house, and then Papyrus was going to come back to the house to spend the night with me, Toriel, and the rest of the group. There was a group that had apparently been stalking Mettaton, and it was the same group that had apparently been leaving them death threats. The rest of the group never found out about any of the letters or the stalking until after the group had tried to assault Mettaton while Papyrus was taking them back to their house. Thank goodness Papyrus was there, he was able to 'send them away'. We worried that after the incident, Papyrus was going to have to partake in legal action. He did mess them up pretty badly, after all. That wasn't the case, though. The group never filed anything against MTT, Mettaton, or even Papyrus himself. Somehow that made me less worrisome, but even more concerned at the same time.

I smirk, thinking about it more. Papyrus isn't as innocent as everyone seems to think. At the very least, Papyrus isn't that naive and feeble when it comes to protecting the people he loves. 

I said goodbye and goodnight to Toriel, and she had left. Papyrus, Sans and I all stayed up though to play more games and watch movies. Papyrus also insisted that we have a pillow fight, which we did. The night seemed great, and Sans also seemed like he was starting to feel better. Every now and then I could catch him staring at me, and he seemed to always have a sad smile on his face. Later on in the night, we had all cuddled up on the couch to watch some of Mettaton's old episodes and movies. A little while after, Papyrus had fallen asleep. It was just me and Sans now, and I could finally ask him about what he had meant earlier in the night.

I tug on my blankets a little more, and I bring them up to me. "Sans?"

"Yeah?"

"What were you talking about earlier, before Papyrus came up the stairs for us?"

There was a bit of silence. Eventually, Sans sighed and turned to me. "Look over here, kid."

I look over, and I stand there in shock when I see his SOUL. He has a large chunk taken out of his SOUL. Almost exactly like mine. 

"W-Why? Did someone do that to you?" I stutter and flip.

"No, no. That's not what it is."

He turns away from me and starts to watch the TV again.

"Well, what is it then? You can't just show me something like that and not explain it at all. Is that why you have been feeling like this recently?"

He nods. "I don't really know how you can live like this, kiddo."

I look down at the ground before confusion starts to roll over me. "Wait, how do you know about my SOUL?"

"I could tell the very second after we had broken the Barrier that something was up. It didn't take for long for Toriel to spill the beans, once I had nagged her enough times about what was wrong with you." He's so nonchalant about it all, I almost start to get angry at him.

I sit back and I try to relax. I don't understand how he could have 'sensed' something like that, and why Toriel would even just go around telling people what had happened to me upon breaking the Barrier.

"I'm assuming you're wondering why, still."

"Yes."

"Well, Frisk. I had done it because of you."

I look over at him and shoot him a glare. "What?"

"Alphys couldn't find anything in the lab that would artificially fix SOULS on their own."

My eyes start to widen, and I look back at him in awe. "No... You don't mean..."

"Yep. I gave part of my SOUL for research. Because, if Alphys can fix you up and you can feel whole again, that's all I need in life."

He sits up and puts his hand on my shoulder to bring me closer in a hug. 

"That's all I need."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Get ready for some PSAs in between real chapter dates explaining my original AU, REMTale. I really hope you all do like it. I can also GUARANTEE that there will be a next chapter tomorrow. This is because I have a book for all of my notes on the AU, and tomorrow is a PSA to inform you more about the AU so you aren't all confused throughout the story. I really hope you all enjoy this!
> 
> Until then,  
> "Rhodi" Rachel


	3. SOULS, And How They Work

_In a land of Humans and Monsters, there are things that one must be aware of. This is the way that SOULS work in our world. Unfortunately- ironically, there isn't that much that we know about SOULS at the moment. We've learned things over time, but even that is not enough._

_To begin our journey, let us start with the simplest information. SOULS are made out of crystals. They look like crystals, they feel like crystals, and they form into what makes the SOUL. Even though they are crystallized, however, SOULS are very fragile. This is what makes them chip over time._

_Now, what shards tend to do is chip over time. Shards chip off due to enough emotional stress of the body, through injuries, and also through other things including severe illness and general life span._

_At the moment, there is no way to fix SOULS except through one option. This is when someone sacrifices parts of their SOUL to fix another person's soul. The shards generally have to be the same size and shape, to fix the SOUL properly. No one knows if people of different SOULS can sacrifice for one another since no one has ever tried it. Sacrificing one's SOUL is almost taboo. However, that only goes for Humans. Monsters don't see, or feel embarrassed about doing such things. Something that is special among-st Monsters as well is that they can sacrifice their SOUL for any other Monster. This is because Monsters don't have distinguishable SOULS, and so it is very easy to share their SOULS with one another. Although this is true, no one knows if the same can be done with a Monster who has absorbed a Human SOUL._

_Even though a lot of what the Human SOUL is capable of is unknown, we do know that a Human can sacrifice their soul to Monsters, too. If a Human is to give a Monster part of their SOUL or even all of their SOUL, Monsters will not only receive incredible power but will also receive a boosted life span, and other positive effects._

_This is all that we know about SOULS. For now, at least._


	4. Chapter 4

FRISK

_I grab his cloak and I try to SAVE him. There is something that is lurking from the shadows, though. Something that enraptures you in such awe that the feeling itself is utterly terrifying. I scream out for him. I scream out for anybody around me. But nobody comes. I'm not able to SAVE him. I'm not able to SAVE him because there is nothing to save. A little boy masked in shadows stands eagerly for me to approach him. He holds out his hand. Do I take it?_

_I decide to take his hand, and he nods in approval- as if I have made a better choice. I hear a whoosh, like a gust of wind, as everything around me projects itself._

_I have fallen down._

_There is a faint feeling I have in my gut that I have been here at another time, but the feeling is gone almost as soon as it came. I am left with an empty feeling- emptier than I have ever felt before. I start to call out for anyone that might be around me, but nobody came. I try to get up from this odd bed of flowers I sit on, but it proves to be difficult. I feel around my legs to realize that one of them has gone numb. I assume it's from the fall, and I eventually am able to make it up on my own. I start to shuffle down the corridor from where the flower bed was, and I am stopped shortly by a flower cloaked in scars._

_"I'm helpful, I can be useful to you. I promise I won't get in your way!" he trembles._

_"Please don't kill me!" He starts to cry as his body frenzies from shaking. I feel myself walk up to the flower, but I fear that it is not my own doing._

_I follow my motions, as numb as a drone, as I hack the flower into bits._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I will have the next chapter up tomorrow, or at least late tonight. It is currently 11:51PM, so. Heh heh.....
> 
> -"Rhodi" Rachel


	5. Chapter 5

FRISK

 _There's something wrong, but I don't know what it is. It's all just blackness. All I feel is emptiness- an affliction even worse than death itself. I can't move. I can't see. I can't call out for the ones that I love. I keep trying to wriggle out of this abyss and come to my senses, but it's too late. Its pull on me is far too great. This is something that can't be beaten by my DETERMINATION. I just sense it._  
\----------  
I wake up to find out that my struggling wasn't in my dream. It was in reality, too. My eyes fly open as I am filled with panic. I can't feel anything. I can't move. It takes me a minute to register that I'm looking up at the living room ceiling in Papyrus' house. 

I try to muster any physical strength to let out a choked cry for help. The hold doesn't stop, but instead it tightens. It tightens so hard that I start to cry and I end up screaming with all of my might. I hear someone yell out and the hold of the force immediately halts. I fall down to the ground, hitting my side on the coffee table before hitting the ground. I cry out at the pain and I clutch my side. Next, I hear a sudden screech and arms are wrapped around me. I look over to the side and see Sans' head on my shoulder as he tightens his grip around me. I yelp from the pain and he relaxes his hug.

He looks up to me, eyes black as night streaming with tears. "I am so, so sorry."

"It's fine. You did kind of hurt my side, though I think it'll just bruise," I mustered. Sans did this?

Sans lets me go and I pull up the side of my shirt just a tad to see if I already had a bruise forming. He looks down to the ground and continues crying once he sees, and I decide to pull him into a hug.

"It's okay. I know that you didn't mean to do any of it. So don't feel sorry for yourself, alright?"

He starts to muster up some willpower to stop crying, and he croaks out a yes in agreement. I let go of him and I get up, and I start to head over to the bathroom to take a shower and get ready to go to Toriel's school. Luckily there was a guest bathrobe to use, so I was able to wash my clothes and dry them as I was getting ready and doing other things. After I had finished all of that, was dressed and ready to go, Papyrus had decided to make us a special breakfast for having me over. He knew how much I loved pancakes, and so he decided to make them but with a twist- cute, little chocolate chips that were not only cooked inside the pancake but that scattered the very top, and THEN drizzled with chocolate sauce. I was definitely going to be bouncing off the walls when I got to school, but that didn't bother me. The pancakes were delicious, after all. 

Despite the nice breakfast, I could still tell that Sans wasn't able to recover that much from the scene that happened this morning. Papyrus tried to ask Sans what was wrong, but Sans had just shrugged it off. It wasn't until I had said something myself that Papyrus really knew what happened.

"Sans had sort of an accident last night I guess, and I ended up falling onto the ground and hitting my side on the coffee table. It's really nothing, it was just a little bit of a jump scare- that was all."

Papyrus' expression suddenly became sad, and he looked over at Sans with a questioning look. Sans hadn't looked back at Papyrus but nodded in affirmation anyway. Papyrus sighed and patted Sans on the back, assuring him that it would be alright. Sans looked over to me with a downtrodden expression, and I gave him back a smile in return. I really didn't want him to think that anything was wrong with me. I'm not going to lie, the pain did hurt, but I didn't want to make Sans feel worse than he already did. 

We had all finished and Papyrus went to go get dressed for work. It was the usual attire he had; a nice black suit and shoes to match. He was all about looking spiffy and professional for his job, and I'm honest when I say that he does look really good in the suit! I giggle to myself as I start to remember the old days where he wore his old costume Sans and him had made. He says he's "retired" the gear, and now has his scarf framed and hung above the fireplace as a reminder. After Papyrus finished getting dressed, we had all set out to the school. Sans decided he was going to come in today to help around, and Papyrus came with us because he had to go the same direction anyway to get to work. Luckily the school wasn't too far away, and it only took about ten minutes to get there. Papyrus said his goodbyes to me and Sans, and he headed off to MTT Incorporated. Sans and I started to walk in silence towards the welcoming school, and I laced his fingers with my own as we continued.  
\-------------------------  
"Sans! Wake up, I need your help passing these out!"

Even for a skeleton, Sans was literally the laziest person I have ever met. Sometimes it was kind of cute to see him all tired and lazy and grumpy, but right now was one of those times where it certainly was not cute.

Sans slowly woke up and realized that I had been sitting there trying to pass him papers to this test for the students. The test was an aptitude test for newcomers to the school. It was to evaluate how skilled a student is in each particular subject and then was placed in a classroom based on how skilled they were. Toriel always thought that a schooling system based on age and grade was nonsense, and I agreed with her. 

Sans took the papers slowly and got up to start passing them out along with me. After we had finished giving them out to the new students, Sans and I waited at the front of the room quietly for the students to turn them in. Surprisingly, the students had finished a lot quicker than others usually do. Sans and I had collected the papers and brought them to Toriel's office while the students were allowed to be sent home. They had to wait a few days for the tests to be evaluated, and then they would get their schedule for which classes they could take and come start school here. I thought this was a perfect opportunity for me and Sans to go and hang out with Toriel as she was teaching a class. I know she could probably use the extra help, anyway.

It was hard at first to get Sans to come with me, mainly because he repeatedly gave the excuse that 'he was too tired to go outside'. Fortunately, I was able to drag him along, and we went out into the front gardens of the school. Toriel held a class on agriculture as an elective, and it was really fun watching her teach the kids. They got so much done over the past year that the entire school ground is covered in beautiful gardens. Beautiful tulips, buttercups, dahlias, anything you could imagine. 

"Alright Elliot, now that we've dug out the little hole for the flower, it's time to plant it! Just take your hands- yep- cup 'em around the flower... There you go! Now just slowly lower it into the ground."

I saw the little monster lower the flower into the ground. Eliot was a teal monster who looked like a lizard. He had a huge smile on his face as he lowered the flower like he had just accomplished the greatest thing. Toriel had noticed me and Sans, and she came over to us as the rest of the students got to work on their own flowers.

"Hello, dear! How are you guys doing today?"

Sans looked like he was half asleep, so I nudged him a little and he shook out of his sleep.

"We're doing good. This sleepy-skeleton here has been super lazy today!" I say, nudging Sans more. He looks over to me and cracks a smile.

"Well, that's good! Have the new students finished with the aptitude?"

"Yeah! It finished pretty quick. I just set the tests on your desk."

"Thank you very much! Alright honey, I have to get back to my class now to make sure they know what to do with the plants after they're planted. Love you!"

"Love you too, Mom!"

Toriel went back to the band of kids, and the rest of them waved goodbye to us as Sans and I started to leave. The rest of the school day was pretty boring. The usual routine of helping kids in study hall, helping make sure that the classes were clean. Something came across my eye, though. I was going back into Toriel's office to grab my coat at the end of the school day when I noticed that there was a weird note tossed along the desk. I started to read the note, and I choked up reading through it.

\------  
**You and your piss poor students better decide to get the hell out of this freak-show that you call a school. All you are are dogs- you shouldn't even be let to run a school. How can you even teach your kind if it doesn't even have the capacity for intelligence like us humans? Hmm?**

 **You better shut it down. Soon. Or you know what will happen next.**  
\------

I grabbed my jacket, threw it on, and ran outside as fast as I could. I knew Toriel was wrapping things up outside after the students from the gardening class and I needed to talk to her. How could she not say anything about this? How could she not cancel school for a few days? Why?

I saw her picking up the gardening supplies off of the ground, and I was suddenly just filled with rage. First the fact that she just went all out to tell Sans what was really wrong with me, but now she is starting to put her students in danger?

"Mom! I need to talk to you about something," I stomp over to her.

"Um, sure honey. What is it?

I throw up the letter to show her, furious. "What do you suppose this is?"

Toriel stands there in shock, and she looks down to the ground in shock. "That was just a silly little letter, it doesn't-"

"How can you say that it's just a silly little letter? How do you know that these people- whoever they are- aren't going to try and attack these kids? Is this the only letter that you've gotten, or are there even more?"

"Listen, Frisk, please-"

"No, Mom. Are there more of these or not?"

Toriel sighs at my demand and shuffles. "Yes, there is more than one of those letters."

"When did you get this letter?"

"I found it this morning when I had opened up the school."

"When did you start receiving them?"

"I started receiving the letters about a week ago. I didn't know what to do about it because I knew that I couldn't turn to anyone for help, certainly not the police, but I didn't want to just close the school and send the kids home out of nowhere, not knowing if I would be able to do anything with the school again! How am I just supposed to let these people who wrote some notes tell me how to live my life?"

"Mom. It's not about your life. It's about these children's lives. That is what matters at this school. It's not about your life, it's not about my life, it's about theirs. We are putting their lives in danger by not doing anything. We need to do something."

"'Hon, I don't really know if we can do anything, though."

"We can. We can call someone. We can talk to the police. I know that there are police officers out there who don't care, but there are ones who do. Who want to help us. _All_ of us." 

"Okay. I guess we better start going to the police, then."

I nodded, and then we started talking about when we were going to go to them. Toriel said that it was probably best if she went on her own, since she didn't want me getting into the mess. She told me that it was probably best to go find Sans and go back to Papyrus' house and wait till Toriel picks her up.

It took a little bit of time to find Sans, but I found him napping under one of the trees in the back garden of the school. I woke him up and we started to head home. As we were talking, I decided to tell him what was going on with the note and the school.

"Toriel didn't tell me anything about the note and the group that had been sending threats. I confronted her about it when I found the note, and she decided that I was right and that we should head to the police."

Sans didn't say anything, yet his eyes went completely black as we were walking back to the house. I could tell that the entire situation had made him upset, but I didn't know what else to say. Humans at the moment just couldn't grasp the fact that Monsters were just like them, no matter how they looked. It's not even that some couldn't grasp it, it's that they hated the fact that it was the case. 

I rest my hand on his shoulder. "Are you sure you're okay?"

He sighs and lifts his face to look back up at me, pupils back in his sockets. "Yeah, I'm fine. It just angers me, is all, you know? I mean like, how am I not supposed to be furious over this whole ordeal?"

"No, no, I completely understand. Don't you worry."

The rest of the short walk was in silence, and when we got back to the house we decided to make dinner for when Papyrus came home. Sans and I spent the evening making alfredo and goofing around, and when Papyrus came home we all sat down and had a really nice dinner. Sans and I explained to Papyrus what happened with the school, and he obviously wasn't very pleased. He insisted that we go and tell Mettaton about what is happening to the company can do something about it, but told him that he should go talk to Toriel before he decides to do anything that drastic. The rest of the evening was just us hanging out and playing games, the usual. Toriel came by later with a downtrodden face, and the skeleton brothers insisted she stay for a while and explain what happened when she went to the police.

"Well, Frisk was right. Luckily, I was able to talk to a police officer who was really understanding, but they weren't really able to do anything. They said that they would start looking out for violence in the neighborhood, specifically around the school, but other than that..."

I looked down at the floor. I was so worried that these kids were going to get hurt. "Is there any chance that you're going to at least protect these kids by sending them home?"

Toriel looks up at me. "No. We need to prove to this race that no matter what, we're just the same. That little mediocre threats aren't going to stop us."

"So you're willing to just take the risk of throwing innocent children's lives away just to make a statement?"

"..."

"Yes."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Toriel is certainly puttin' the foot down.
> 
>  
> 
> \- "Rhodi" Rachel


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, I don't really know why but the song that really got me into the flow of writing this was "When I'm Gone" by Eminem. Like, I don't know exactly why but I guess the tone of the song really got me into the writing. I'll leave you all a link if you would like to listen to this song while you read! 
> 
> https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1wYNFfgrXTI

The rest of the night wasn't really that great. Everyone was startled from Toriel's reaction to my question, and I was absolutely furious. I was even thinking about calling up the students' parents and tell them what's going on so that they don't send their children to school. I tried telling the skeleton brothers my plan to do that, but they had told me that it might just put the school in more danger since there would probably be a lot of news about it if we just started telling people. I understood and I just settled with the realization that there wouldn't be much to do. 

Toriel had taken me back to the house after we had that chat with Sans and Papyrus. I tried my best to go to sleep, but the dreams had been getting worse and worse. The only reason I was trying to go to sleep was because I knew I would be super tired tomorrow if I didn't- not that I actually wanted to sleep. I accepted the realization that I just wasn't going to be able to sleep once I started to see the sun rise through my bedroom. I watched the rays set fire to the yellow walls in my room, and it made the room set off a feeling of tranquility I couldn't quite comprehend. I snuggled back into my comforter and sighed. I would have to get up soon to get ready for the day, but that doesn't mean that I couldn't enjoy the fluffy comforter right in front of me. I snuggled into it more, pretending as if I didn't have to get up until I really did have to get up. I hopped out of bed and started to get ready for the day. The morning went by as normal, except for the fact that it was particularly quiet this morning. Toriel and I had just not talked at all to each other this morning, and after breakfast she quickly went to the school to start working. I was guessing that it was to avoid me. I spent the rest of the morning working on my studies for school, and then later I decided to make my way to the school to see if any of the students needed. Even if they didn't, I had remembered to bring my work with me so I'd at least have a space to finish all of the work I had for my classes. It was pretty silent when I walked up the steps, and it almost seemed like there wasn't even anyone at the school. Despite this, I opened the door to the bustling school in all its glory. I guess I shouldn't exactly call the school "bustling" since there weren't _that_ many kids there. The school hadn't been around for too long, and even though we were the only school in the area to accept monsters, there still weren't that many little monsters to take in. I went around some of the classrooms to see if any of the teachers needed help, and around the study hall if anyone needed help with tutoring. I also looked around to see if Sans was anywhere to be found, but alas. I assumed that he just hadn't come today, and so I kept looking for students who might need help. Fortunately, it was a quiet day and only a few people needed help with tutoring here and there, so it gave me more time in the end to get all of my own work finished.

\-------------------

SANS

I sit in this cold room waiting for Alphys to come back from her appointment with someone else. I wring my hands together in anxiety, and I don't really know why but I can't stop tapping my foot on the stool lying next to the hard hospital bed I'm on.

It must have been about fifteen to twenty minutes before Alphys came in with her notes at the ready. Alphys gave me a sad smile and we started with a physical to make sure that nothing was wrong with me, well, physically. She could tell that I was having some trouble with having a piece of my SOUL gone, but she told me that it was just normal since I hadn't grown accustomed to it all yet. I kinda felt like she was just saying that to make me feel better, though. We both knew that it was so much harder than it looked. The only reason she said it was probably because of Frisk and how she is, but I already knew that Frisk could deal with it just because she was _that_ strong. She always was.

"So 'Doc, how'ya been doing?" I smirk.

Alphys scoffs and turns to the computer to start taking notes on the appointment. "I should be asking _you_ that, for sure. Since you've asked, though, Undyne and I have been doing really great, actually. Undyne was able to get her own dojo set up to start teaching monsters and humans how to fight! I was so proud of her; she had been trying so hard to make it real and it really happened."

"Oh, that's really awesome! I'll tell 'Pap the good news when I see him tonight. Hell, he might even want to go in himself!" I chuckle, "You know how he's always looked up to her."

"I sure do. Hey, on another note, I have something to tell you about the SOUL piece you gave."

"What's up?"

Alphys looks down at her clipboard with a frown. "It's honestly been getting really hard to work on this experiment. I've tried everything so far to try and see if the SOUL piece will work on Humans without ruining the actual SOUL piece. I'm trying so hard not to ruin it because I know that you can't give any more, even if you say that you can. I've been asking other Monsters around and putting ads everywhere I can to see if any of them will help with the project, but so far no one will volunteer. I've been staying up as much as I can do work on it, to research, but it just seems like it's no use right now," Alphys sighs and turns to me, "I'm telling you all this because I'm asking you if you would just like to absorb your SOUL piece and get back to normal. It's just that I don't really think that there is much else we can do with the piece. I think that the experiment is a bust."

My chest clenches, and I look at her with a look of disbelief. Is she really asking me this question? Is there really _nothing_ else we can do?

"No, I want you to keep the SOUL piece."

Alphys looks at me and stutters. "W-what do you mean? Why?"

"Because I'm not giving up just yet. I'm not giving up on _her_ just yet."

Alphys gives me a stern look. "Sans, I know that you're doing this because you really care about Frisk, but _you do realize that there is nothing else I can do_ , don't you? Or do you just not want to believe it? Is that what it is?"

"Alphys, you've barely had the piece, anyway! How- after just a few weeks- do you _absolutely know_ if there is _nothing_ you can do with the piece? Because to me it just sounds like you're just trying to give me a bunch of _bullshit_ because you don't care enough to help Frisk!" I shout.

Alphys gasps and puts her hands up to her face out of stress. I immediately regret what I said, but before I can get a single apology out she points to the door. "Get out of here. Go."

I stand there for a moment, taking all of it in. Is this really happening?

I lower my head and walk out of the room in silence. 

\----------------------------  
FRISK

In a few hours I've finished up the papers and other homework I had acquired over the week. I collect my stuff to put it into my tote bag and I start to head out of the library. I looked at my watch and I noticed that I was there for so long that school had been released. I knew that Toriel had another gardening class today, so naturally I went outside again to see if she was cleaning up. I checked the backyard and playground to see if she was there, but to no avail. I went out to the front to check and I heard a few shouts and some clamoring. It sounded like someone was getting hurt, and so I immediately drop my bag and start to run to the front of the school. I notice that by the gates there's a group of teenagers cornering some of the students and they're shoving them into the bricked gate. I can see that at least one of the Monsters is bleeding from the head after it was slammed into the wall, and I saw them sink to the ground. The other two were trying to protect their friend from getting hurt even more, but it was painfully obvious to see that the other teenagers were much stronger than them. I rush over to them and I block one of the students just as they're about to get hit in the face. 

Even though I was able to block the kid from the hit, that doesn't mean that I didn't get one really hard punch to the face. I stumbled back a bit while the other students worried if I was okay.

I looked back up at them, and something boiled inside my blood. Fear. Anger. DETERMINATION. I fear it wasn't me when the next thing I know I punch the kid back in the face and send him falling on his back with him screaming. I can't hear clearly anymore; everything is muffled as I'm slowly slipping into an unnerving darkness, but I can feel myself start screaming at the Human. My legs are weak but plant strongly onto the ground as I stomp over to the boy and I start kicking him endlessly. His screams become more and more muffled as my legs keep kicking him. I feel like I am freezing up in horror, despite all of this. I can't stop myself from kicking until Toriel comes out of nowhere to grab me and pull me back.

"What on Earth are you doing?" Toriel shouts at me as she drags me away from the boy.

I just look up at her, and I can feel tears streaming down my cheeks. The last thing I see is an expression of horror before I slip into nothingness. 

\---------------------------------------------  
_"That was fun, wasn't it?"_

_I look around at my surroundings, and I find myself in Toriel's house from the Ruins. I don't know where the voice is coming from, and so I start looking around the house to find them. I notice a shadow coming from the living room. I walk over to the spot, but I notice nothing is there. The room looks dusty and old, but it looks dilapidated if anything. I look around to see cracks running along the walls in a frenzy, and the roof looks like it's about to cave in. The floorboards a crooked and some of them look like they've been jammed out completely. It's not until I look closer through the barely lit room that I see the blood stains that cover the floor. The silence in the air is heavy, only being broken by the slight crackling of the fire lit in the fireplace._

_My hands are shaking a tad, and I shove them in the pockets of my pants. My voice lets out only a whisper, "Who are you?"_

_I hear a scoff from the hall. I take my time and slowly walk down it, taking in everything that I can. I can feel them around me, but they are nowhere to be seen._

_I've walked to the end of the hall now, almost too afraid to turn around and see what awaits. I notice a glimmer out of my peripheral vision, and I turn to see the hallway mirror. I hold in a breath as I notice it's not me who's staring back._

_"I'm you, of course!"_

_I see them flicker between the mirror and I jump back when I see them flicker right into my face. The more I continue to walk back, the more they step forward to meet me. I soon hit the wall behind me, and they inch close to my face. Their eyes are black as an abyss. They seem to have cuts and bruises on their face to the point where they look distorted. Their ripped lips are curled into a menacing grin. Their clothes are all ripped and raggedy. My jaw clenches._

_"You are not me."_

_They giggle, and their eyes pierce right through me._

_"I will be."_

_They immediately take off, running down the stairs. I have no other choice than to sprint off to them and find out what's going on. As I'm running down the stairs, I find myself in Snowdin. I don't know how I got here; just a moment I was going down the stairs. I saw the old hallway and everything._

_I decide to just go with it, and now I make my way through Snowdin. It looks nothing like how it did when I walked through this town years ago; this town looks like it was demolished from the inside out. I start by briefly looking inside the General Store and the Inn, but the shops were broken down and beaten. I shuffle my way through the snow over to Papyrus' old house, forgetting everything else in the town. I stand there as I feel shivers fall down my back. The entire house was burned down; all that was left were ashes, broken boards, and the little, colored lights he always had hanging on his house. I hear a scream from up the track and I rush down there. I stop in my tracks as I see myself in another form, looming over Papyrus in the distance._

_"But, st-still! I b-believe in you! You can do a little better! Even if you don't think so! I- I promise..." he exclaimed._

_I scream as I watch my other self crush Papyrus' lone head into bitter ash, it collecting as a pile on the snowy track._

_I run over to Papyrus' remains and I brush my hands through the ash, helplessly collecting it in my palms. I can see my tears dampen the ash as I sob, and I see a familiar figure loom over me._

_"That was fun, wasn't it?"_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I really want you to ponder and guess who you think the person is in her dream. I might give it away in next chapter because it's not supposed to really be a secret and have like- a HUGE reveal- but I am wondering if you guys had maybe thought about anybody else than who I was writing about. Also yes, I did make it very vague between characters in the ending scene on purpose. I thought it gave more of an intense feeling, but that's just my opinion. Tell me how you guys felt during the ending scene!
> 
> -"Rhodi" Rachel


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, I have a Tumblr if you guys would like to keep up with updates, art, and just other Undertale stuff I repost. :)
> 
> http://julianightweave.tumblr.com/
> 
> I hope you guys like the chapter!

I jump up screaming with tears rolling down my cheeks. The only thing that keeps me from actually jumping out of this bed I'm laying in is an arm that keeps me down somewhat. I flop back on the bed with a thud, and I take in all of my surroundings. It's only that I realize where I am when I notice that the bed I'm on is a hospital bed. 

"Frisk, are you alright?" someone asked. 

I slowly look over to where the voice is coming from to notice that it's Sans with a concerned look on his face.

"Yeah, I'm alright," I croak. "What am I doing here?"

Sans doesn't answer my question. "Well, you certainly don't look like you're doing alright," he gestures over to me, talking about my outburst.

"Sans, what am I doing here?"

Before Sans is about to answer, Toriel storms into the room. She has a look on her face that I can't quite comprehend, and she immediately starts interrogating me.

"Why did you hurt that boy?" she badgered, "You've never acted out like this before, so tell me- why on Earth would you go out and hurt that boy like that? You know that he could get his parents to throw you or me in jail! We're not exactly treated as equally as other Humans, Frisk, so why?"

I sigh and I sink into myself. I didn't know what to say- it's not exactly like I had any certain idea about what was going on with me. 

Toriel didn't exactly take my silence well. "You know what? Forget it. I thought I could think better of you, Frisk." 

My face scrunches together in a glare of the 'are you actually serious' caliber. Before I can spout any refute, though, Alphys rushes into the room. 

"Frisk, are you alright? Are you hurt? Is there anything that you've been feeling once you've woken up?" she pestered. 

I close my eyes and try and relax a little bit in the bed. "Yeah, I'm fine. I just feel really unsettled right now." 

Toriel glares at me from across the room and leaves shortly. Sans looks confused, and Alphys looks very uncomfortable and embarrassed. It's only a moment that passes until Alphys starts bombarding me with questions again. 

"Why do you feel unsettled?" 

"I think it's just the dream that I had before I woke up." 

"Well, what was the dream about?" 

"I'd... Rather not talk about it right now." 

Not even a moment passed before I realized that tears were seamlessly streaming down my face like a waterfall. I hunched over in pain as I clutched my chest as if I was prying at the pain inside my heart. Alphys started to panic and Sans wrapped his arms around me, trying to calm me down. I couldn't calm down quite enough, and the next thing I know my back arches in pain as my SOUL is pulled from my chest. 

"No, no no no no no!" 

"Oh my God, Frisk!" 

I sobbed in pain as a shard broke off of my SOUL. 

My SOUL slowly goes back into my chest and I'm too exhausted to do anything but flop against the bed in a heap. I silently cry as Sans reaches for me and pulls me into his arms. Alphys is standing there, still panicking more than ever. 

"What was that all about?" Alphys cries. 

I can't pull away from this trance I'm in. I can't do anything except observe. 

Sans pulls me closer and whispers in my ear, "Frisk, you gotta tell us what's going on. You gotta tell us why that happened." 

I look up at him, tears streaming down my face. I can only muster a single whisper. 

"I don't know."  
\---------------------------  
_I wake up in an abandoned, industrial room? I walk around and I realize that I'm in the core._

_I take in the... nostalgia... and I make my way down the halls of the core. It had been a long time since I had been down these corridors, so much so that I almost don't recognize the bland, blackened, little room I walk into._

_Bits and pieces of memories start to flow back to me. I remember battling Mettaton; I smirk at how funny it was with him broadcasting all of the quirky things we did on the Underground's television network. The happiness fades quickly as it's washed over with an uncomfortable feeling._

_"Oh you silly, that's not how it happened."_

_I become breathless and start to panic when my head's taken over with this voice, and countless recollections of Mettaton and the fight. Mettaton looks different. The stage lights are blaring so bright I can hardly see. The only thing I see in the midst of all of this is the strike that rips Mettaton to mechanical bits._

_"No, no, no," I'm thinking against myself, "That isn't how it happened. I wouldn't hurt Mettaton like that."_

_"Oh, I'm sure you tell yourself that so you can sleep at night."_

_I try ignoring it all, but it's no use. I start to tear up at the sight of me ripping Mettaton to pieces. I would never do something like that to Mettaton- to any of my friends. I would never do that to anyone._

_I run out of the room as fast as I can and away from the memories. I try to outrun the voice, the faux memories, the pain of wondering if I really did do it. It all seemed so real. Was this even real?_

_I run past the stage, past the hotel. I keep on running until something stops me at full force and I'm flown back, falling on my side._

_"You think it's just that easy? Do you think you are above consequences?" accuses the voice._

_"I didn't do those things!" I shout aloud, "I would never do that! Ever!"_

_I stand back up from where I had fallen down. "I know what this is. This is just like what happened with Papyrus in my dream. It's not me. I'm not the one doing this."_

_"Oh Dear, how... 'forthright' of you. I'm sorry to inform you, but this is you," the voice giggled, "Or at least, it will be."_

\-----------------  
"Frisk, wake up for Christ's sake!" 

My eyes shoot open and I see Sans face hovering over mine. Once he registers I'm awake, he moves so I can sit up in bed. I start to tear up again, but before that can happen, Sans hugs me and calms me down. 

"I'm really sorry," I whimper. 

"There's nothing to be sorry about, Sweetheart." 

I hug closer to him and I start to feel a little better from the dream. I feel Sans sigh against me, and when he lets go I see he's starting to get up from the chair he's been sitting at. 

"No, wait, you're leav-" 

"No, I'm not leaving. I'm staying for the night with you to make sure you're okay. After you losing a piece of your SOUL, passing out on me, yeah. I don't think I'll be leaving just yet. Now, I'll be right back. Try and get some sleep, alright?" 

I nodded, and he walked out of the room. I turned on my side, facing the other wall. I wasn't so sure if I wanted to fall asleep, but I knew that I was super tired. I closed my eyes and I tried to fall asleep, but it was futile. I tried opening my eyes but all it was doing was giving me a headache, so I just kept them closed. A little bit later I heard the door open and close, so I had assumed it was Sans. I heard a bit of shuffling, and all of a sudden I feel someone crawling into the bed with me. A hand drapes over my side and I immediately recognize it as Sans' arm and jacket, which settles me. He drapes a blanket over the both of us for the night, and somehow this helps me fall asleep.  
\---------------------------- 

_"Heh."_

_"What a beautiful day outside. Birds are singing, flowers are blooming..."_

_"On days like these kids like you..."_

_"Should be burning in hell."_

_I see blasters from all around encircle me. I try to yell for Sans, to ask him why, but I can't speak. I brace myself for what comes next as I'm vaporized into bits from the blasts._

_I wake up in the same church I stood in only moments before hand. I must have reset after being killed- but why did I reset in a dream?_

_"Ready?"_

_I try screaming out for him, clawing at my throat. I can't do anything with my voice, even if I try my best to speak out to him. I don't know what is happening, nor why it is happening. All I know is that I charge for him, but I fear it is not me who is doing so._

_I feel my body twist and turn to the blasts and bones as I keep trying to call out to Sans. I get scraped a bunch despite my body's agility, and the last hit of his turn, a bone, hits me right in the shoulder. I open my mouth to scream in pain, but nothing comes out._

_The familiar battle screen pops up, awaiting my move. I try to move to ACT to try and speak to Sans. I can't move my arm to choose; it's forcing me to keep my arm from the button. I feel my arm start to move towards the FIGHT button, and alarms go off in my head. I try to move my other arm to hold myself back, but I can't move anymore. I helplessly watch my arm hit FIGHT and I'm sent into a grid. My timing is spot on, and I'm forced into lunging at Sans with all of my body's willpower. Sans was able to dodge the attack easily, and I sigh in relief._

_It's Sans' attack now. My heart sinks at the sight of his glare; as if he had hated me all his life. I start to cry as Sans' attack runs through my now blurry vision. My body begins going through the motions of Sans' attack, but eventually, he stops._

_The next thing I see is the MERCY button. He wants to spare me._

_I stand there in shock, wondering if my body is going to betray me in motion._

_I slowly raise my hand, and I'm filled head-to-toe with DETERMINATION when I realize that I can now move of my own free will. I start to cry and shake as I press MERCY._

_"Sans," I sob, "I'm so sorry, I couldn't-"_

_My breath hitches and I choke on air as dozens of bones from around me rise from the ground to pierce my body. The pain is too much for me to even scream._

_Tears silently flow down my cheeks, and I follow Sans in my gaze as he walks over to me and leans in close to my ear. His voice a dull, lifeless whisper._

_"Get dunked on... kid."_  
\--------------------------------------------------- 

"...Frisk, shh, it's okay. I'm right here for you, kid. Shh..." 

My body rocks in Sans' arms and I lift a hand to feel the tears rushing down my face. I grab onto his coat and I pull myself to him more as he rubs my back while I cry. A while goes by with us just like this, until I lay in his arms like a lifeless vessel. I'm too exhausted to do anything but just lay there. 

"Kid, what was in your dream? What's been going on? You need to tell someone," Sans asks quietly. 

"It doesn't even feel like it's a dream anymore," I replied. 

Sans rubs my back and frowns. "Why did you hurt that kid? I know that that's not like you." 

I teared up, and I look away from his gaze. "Sans..." 

"Yeah?" 

"What if I told you... I wasn't the one who did it?" 

I'm too scared to look at him to see his reaction. He takes my chin in his hands and brings my face up to his. 

"Well, then I better start helping then, huh?" 

I close my eyes and I start to cry. Sans holds onto me and lets me cry into his sweater. Something catches my eye; I lift my head and notice the blinds to the window of our room are open. The rays of the morning sun barely lit up the room, and the skies were so beautiful it made me feel like it was too good for this world. 

"It's a beautiful day outside..." I whisper. 

Sans turns around and looks through the window as well. 

"Yeah, it sure is."  
\------------------------------------------------------------------------------- 

Sans and I laid in bed for the rest of the morning. I told him about the dreams that I was having, and he didn't know what to say. _I_ didn't even know what to say. After a while, Sans said he had to go for a moment to see if anyone was going to be able to release me today. 

I was sitting in bed waiting for Sans to return when Asgore came into the room sheepishly, with a beautiful bouquet of buttercups. 

"Hello, Dear!" Asgore smiled, "I hope you're doing better than yesterday." 

I gave a small, tired smile. "Yeah, I'm doing a little better. I just want to be over with all of this stuff." 

Asgore chuckled, "Yeah, I bet you are. Oh, by the way," he says, handing me the bouquet of flowers, "I know these were always your favorite flower." 

I take them gratefully. "Thank you so much, Asgore. It means a lot to me." 

Asgore went to go sit down in one of the chairs when Alphys and Sans came back into the room. 

"Hello, Asgore!" Alphys greeted. 

"Hey," smiled Sans. 

"Hello Alphys, hello Sans. How are you all doing this morning?"asked Asgore. 

"Well, I came in here to inform Frisk that she can be released. I do have some other things to tell you, though, Frisk..." Alphys finished. 

"What is it, Alphys?" I question. 

Alphys sighed and looked back down at her clipboard. "Well, for the next few days you're going to be staying with me and Undyne. I need to start researching how your SOUL is doing after another chipping, and I might even be able to get more data on how I can help your SOUL. Toriel said that it didn't matter if we had you over at our place for a little while. You're probably going to be staying with us for a week or two." 

I glance over to Sans, "Just like you took a part of Sans' SOUL for 'helping mine', right?" 

Sans put his hands up, "Woah woah woah, that was my own doing. I had asked Alphys to take it to see if she could research it for you." 

"See, Sans? Even Frisk thinks it's a bad idea. And, for your information, I still haven't found any evidence through my research and experimentation that your SOUL can even help hers. And now her SOUL is even more chipped, which means that if you were able to give her a part of your SOUL, she wouldn't be able to take it since it's not similar in size." 

I take Sans' hand and I bring him over to me. "Sans. Take the piece back. It would be for nothing if you just gave it away like this." 

Sans' face fell in a frown as he held onto my hand. "Yeah... Okay. I'll take it back." 

It grew silent in the room, and Alphys stuttered in embarrassment. "S-so, Frisk, ready to g-go?" 

I start to move the blankets off the hospital bed, and I try my best to stand up, despite the sudden wave of dizziness and aching. 

"Yep, I'm ready." 


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay guys, I would really like to explain something. This chapter was supposed to be out almost a week ago. I had finished it, but then all of my work got deleted on Grammarly, the place where I write my work. I have decided to just stick with using Google Docs, but I would like to apologize for such a long wait. If you would like to keep up on updates for what's happening with Ribbons, you can always follow my Tumblr account: https://www.tumblr.com/blog/julianightweave  
> Thank you guys for being so patient and lovely.

I try to overcome the dizziness that has seemed to permanently affect me as I change from my hospital clothes to my regular clothes. Sans and Alphys were both waiting outside the door for me, and Asgore had promised me that when he saw Toriel this afternoon he would go and talk to her. We sat down after Sans and Alphys walked out of the room, and Asgore told me that I shouldn't worry about what I had done. I was just protecting the people that I care about; there was nothing wrong with doing that. I give him a smile and a nod, but deep down it was eating me to the core. _it wasn't me_. There was no other way to put it. I try to shake it off of my mind as best as I can, for now at least. I just want to be able to get to Alphys' house in one piece.

I get out of the room, and apparently Alphys had already signed a few papers that would let me out of the hospital. We head down to her car and we make our way over to Toriel's house so I can grab some things before I spend time at Alphys' house. It is a short drive, but it felt like it was an eternity in the car. Everything was silent, and it wasn't a comfortable silence, either. I could tell that the whole situation right now was awkward. I rest my head against the window of the car, wondering about what's going to happen when I get to Toriel's house. Would she even be there? If she was, would she even say anything to me? What would she even say? It's not like I could explain everything to her. I could barely do that with Sans; how am I supposed to believe she would believe something like that? She would probably just scoff at me and start yelling at me more for making up 'such a terrible lie'. I try and close my eyes to just drift away from it all, but that's stopped short when the car suddenly stops. 

"Alright, Frisk. You go on ahead and get your stuff, Sans and I will be waiting in the living room for you when you finish, alright?"

I open my eyes and nod to Alphys. I get out of the car and run inside the house. I look around the place rather quickly, but I soon notice that Toriel is nowhere to be seen here. I was relieved as I was saddened, walking up the staircase to my room. I grab a suitcase I had in my closet, and I start picking out clothes to bring with me and some other things. I made sure to bring some books and manga, and I also brought a few old Pokemon games with me on a whim. I made sure to get all of the other essentials, and I started my way down the living room where Sans and Alphys were waiting. I stop in the middle of the hallway when I start to look over all of the pictures that Toriel and I had taken. We had pictures from all of our trips, from me just getting out of the Underground to where I am now. I can't stop staring, even if I don't want to. How could just a matter of, who knows- five, ten minutes, change something so much about how you perceive something, or someone. She probably is so furious at me still. I close my eyes to stop myself from tearing up. What if something like this happens _again_? What if something even _worse_ happens? I didn't want to think about it; it made me sick to my stomach. I drag myself down the staircase to where Alphys and Sans were, and we left the house. We all made our way into the car, and we started driving over to Alphys' house. It was probably about twenty to thirty minutes away, and so I tried to pass the time by playing the games I had brought. I had no idea how to start a conversation with the too at the moment, and I couldn't let my mind wander anymore. It depressed me too much.

A little bit later we get to Alphys' house. It was a classic Colonial right behind the sidewalk, lined up with other countless houses that went down the road and up the hill. The Colonial was red, but there were abundant amounts of white highlighting. The whole house was covered in flowers and various greenery, making the whole scene come to life. We got out of the car and made our way to the door. The house had a beautiful wrap-around porch that had beautiful decorum. The whole piece looked like it belonged in a movie.

"Alphys, this is a great work that you’ve done on this house. It’s really beautiful.” I give her a polite smile.

“Oh, actually, I wasn’t the one who had made all of this.” Alphys leans over towards us, “Truth be told, Undyne has a really big knack for decorating. She _loves_ it.

Alphys had knocked on the door to their house, and we waited there for a moment that carried on to quite the awkward silence. Just when it was about to get even worse, Undyne opens the door with a whoosh of excitement and pulls me into a hug.

“Hey, Punk! I haven’t seen you in a while!” she is _really_ excited.

I giggle and I hug her back. She was right, we hadn’t even seen each other since the party on New years. That must have been at least a month ago, I’m sure of it. We hug for just a little bit longer until she lets me back down so I can bring my suitcase into the house. I ended up just leaving my suitcase by the door for now, and Undyne led us into the living room so she could make some tea for us and we could hang out. For a Colonial, the room seemed very spacious. Well, that’s probably because of the fact that their living room and their kitchen were _basically the same room._ It was more of like a walk-in kitchen, but it looked really nice. I also thought it was really cool that even though they added their modern touches, they relatively followed the theme of the house. Traditional, but with a pop that just _made_ you feel happier when you walked into the house. I know it made me feel better when I walked in. Honestly, though, my SOUL couldn’t be hurting any worse. It was throbbing, like it was just slit open by a million blades, and left to lie there while it bled out of its own control. I tried to shrug it off and be casual, but it was getting harder and harder. I’d do it for them, though. I always will. 

“So Alphys tells me that you’re going to be staying with us for a little bit?”

I look over to see it’s Undyne who's asking me the question, and I smile back. “Yeah, I’m going to be staying for a while. I really hope it’s not an inconvenience.” 

Undyne gives me a groan, and I scoff. “Why would you be an inconvenience? C’mon, it’s going to be so fun! Like an extended sleepover! We can horse around, we can- oh my _God_ , we can _binge watch anime._ ”

Now that gets me to laugh, and Undyne sits down next to me with a tray of tea that she had pulled out of the fridge. Undyne was always known to make the best tea in town; even to the point where she was starting to make a little bit of extra money off of it. With this knowledge, naturally I am the first to grab a cup of her sweet tea. Undyne turns on the television and starts asking us what we want to watch, but Undyne and Alphys already agree on an anime that they really wanted to watch. I look over to see how Sans is doing, and I see him smiling at me. Not that smile that gives you butterflies, and not that smile where you know they have butterflies. It’s a smile that wants you to be okay. It’s a smile that hopes that you’ll be okay.

It’s a smile that would do anything to make sure that you’ll be okay.

\------------------------------------------------

“Hey Sweetheart, I need to talk to you about something.” 

I turn around from washing the dishes to see Sans staring at me. He has sort of a weird look in his eyes, but I don't know what it means.

“Oh? Okay, what do you need?”

“Um, I think we should tell Alphys about what is going on.”

My heart thumps in my chest. “W-wait, what do you mean?”

He walks up closer to me, and I slowly go back to doing the dishes. "You know, the thing about the dreams... this- this person-"

"Sans, do you know how much of a bad idea that is? She'd probably just call me crazy. Even if she did believe me, what can anyone even do about it? It's not like they can just give me a cure that will make it all better again. It seems... too real for that, I guess."

Sans sighs and reaches out to hold my now shaking hands, clutching the plate I’ve been washing.

“Frisk.”

I turn to look at him, and his eyes are dead on me.

“We are your family. We all love you. Even if there is nothing we can do to help you, you need to at least _tell_ them so they can at least know why you’ve been acting so different. Otherwise, nothing is going to change, Frisk.”

He lets go of my hands and shrugs. “I’m telling Alphys. It’s your decision if you want to go and tell Undyne.”

I look over my shoulder and watch Sans walk off and up the stairs. I finish doing the dishes from the tea that we all had for the afternoon, and later Undyne had started to make Mexican food for dinner as she had promised us earlier in the day. Undyne had finished up a little later, and Alphys, Sans and I had to practically drag ourselves from the anime we had started watching earlier just to eat some food. Undyne eventually said, though, that we could eat at the couch so we could all continue the anime. It was pretty obvious that everyone was on board with the idea.

Undyne had made these beautiful burritos with chicken, steak, and shrimp. It was all mixed together with onions and green peppers, and even some mushrooms. There was no other word to describe it but absolutely delicious. We all had a laugh-fest though, because as I was trying to make my burrito it all pour out onto the plate from the tortilla wrapping.

“Guys, it’s not _my_ fault! I’m terrible at _gift wrapping_ , you expect me to be good at this?!”

It was all over the place, and what I had said only made everyone laugh even more. I giggled with them, and we had all sat down to continue watching the anime that we were watching. 

“So how are you guys liking the anime?” asked Undyne.

“It is so good,” I said. I had never seen anything like it. The art was absolutely beautiful, some of the scenery alone could bring you to tears. The story was so good, and you just absolutely fell in love with the characters. It was so easy to connect to it all; it was so easy for it to inspire you. It was absolutely breathtaking.

Later during the night, Alphys had gotten a call from the facility that she worked at saying that she needed to come in for a late night shift. With that, we sort of had to end the night early. Everyone cleaned up, and we had turned off the anime that we were watching. Undyne wanted to put on a show that we had at least all seen, and so she decided to put on none other than Teen Titans.

“Oh my goodness, Undyne. Even _before_ falling into the Underground, one of my only memories is this show. _When there’s trouble you know who to call…_ ”

Undyne cackles and chips up. “ _Teen Titans!_ ”

Undyne and I kept singing the theme song for the show until there was a noise from upstairs. I told Undyne I’d go see what it was, and I brought my suitcase along with me as well. My spare room was just down the hall, so I didn’t see any harm with knocking two birds with one stone. 

I notice that the first door upstairs is cracked slightly, and that it was where the noise was coming from. I stand next to the door frame, trying to keep myself out of the way of the door in case something happens. I can overhear a conversation.

“Oh, give me a break, Sans. How do you even know if what she is saying is _true_? Even if she wasn't “lying” to you, how do you know that she isn't even just seeing these things or something?”

“Alphys, I honestly don’t think that that’s what it is…”

“Then what is it then, huh? How can someone who isn’t even _real_ just magically do this to someone?”

I open the door and I walk in on them both. Sans and Alphys quickly turn around, and they both look paler than ever at the sight of me. 

“Oh, h-hey, Frisk. How are you doing?”

I didn’t really know why I barged in here in the first place, but there’s no turning back now. Even though my throat feels like it’s about to shut tight forever, I’m able to get some air together to at least say something to them. I don’t know whether or not to be mad, sad, or shocked. 

“Oh, well, I don’t know. I’ve been feeling a little bit like shit lately,” I brought a hand up to my mouth dramatically and gasped, “but- oh, wait! I bet I’m just making that up, too. You know, with another piece of my SOUL missing and all.”

I was terrible at giving comebacks, but it felt good to at least give some kind of one. I stormed out of the room they were in and went straight to mine. I wanted to think that I couldn’t believe that Alphys wouldn’t believe me, but of course I couldn’t think that. It was obvious that there was a possibility she wouldn’t. I even told Sans that. I decided to just go ahead and start unpacking my bag, if anything to at least get my mind off of stuff. Hours had past and I was long done with unpacking, so I decided to play my games that I was playing earlier in the day. I didn’t want to think anymore about what was going on with me, and I didn’t want to think anymore about what the other thought about it.

“Hey, kid.”

I turn around from the wall I was facing while playing my game, and I see Sans standing in the middle of my room, looking down at me.

“Hi.” I go back to facing the wall I was at, continuing my game.

A deep silence permeated the air, only for a moment.

“I’m sorry you had to hear all that.”

I stand up and turn around to face him.

“Who do you even believe, Sans?”

Sans looked down at the ground, trying his best not to stare back at me.

“Are you going to believe someone who doesn’t even know what’s really going on with me, or are you going to believe the person who loves you-”

“How are you sure _you_ even know what’s going on, Frisk? Oh wait, that’s right. You _don’t_ know what’s going on with you. No one does.”

“So you’re just going to believe Alphys because she is apparently the ‘almighty genius’? Last time I checked, _Sans_ , she wasn’t the one who was having these dreams. Or these freaky take-overs.”

Sans lets out a deep scoff, and turns away from me. “Whatever you say, _sweetheart_.”

Sans disappears without a trace. I go over to sit back on my bed, and I put my head in my hands. Not even Sans seems to believe me.

I look over at the clock that lays on my bedroom nightstand. It’s just struck midnight. I lay back on my bed, and continue playing my game. I’m tired of dreams for now.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh my God, literally it feels so invigorating to finally get this out to you guys. I truly hope you liked the chapter! I'm at the moment dealing with various anxiety and God knows what else I'm feeling that I just literally cannot explain verbally. It's all been so confusing and frustrating and sad, but I've been getting better. It's really just because of this school I'm going to, but I'll be moving soon and will be going to a new one. Also! When Frisk was in bed just frustrated with everything that was going on, it really got me thinking of when I get really sad like that and have to take care of myself. If anyone of you are having a really bad time and you just need something to lull you or keep you occupied, I usually sing a song that means a lot to me. Now, I really only sing one song because, well, it's a song that REALLY means a lot to me and it's just so precious that it's the only time I really sing it. It's called "Asleep" by the Smiths and I have my own reasons for why the song is so important to me, but maybe you will find the song just as compelling or even maybe another song that will help you get through it all. I certainly know it works for me. If I'm crying and really really depressed and have no idea what I'm even doing with (insert circumstance here)? Bam. "Asleep". So I hope that maybe that sort of thing helps some people out, as it does for me. I will see you guys in the next chapter. Bye-bye!
> 
> -"Rhodi" Rachel


	9. Heart to Heart

Alright guys, hello, my name is Rachel, and today I am here to give you a PSA. Author to reader.

I would like to inform everyone that from here on out to the very end of the story, there will be a trigger warning set in place. This trigger warning is for anyone who might have various problems with a Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder, a form of depression, anxiety, etc. If you have any of these and think that you cannot handle various situations, scenes, implications, or any of the sort, then I very much recommend you to stop reading. Topics that will be discussed throughout the story are situations of depression, violence, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder, Multiple-Personality Disorder, and these topics will go in-depth on what it is like having to deal with such things.

The reason why I have put this trigger warning is because we are starting to delve into this fairly clearly. I will even be doing research of some of these disorders to make sure that I have a clear representation, as I do not want to romanticize anything. So, if you have a form of depression let's say, and you do not think you can handle forms of discussions such as depression, loss of the will to live, and going down a dark road due to the discussion of it, then I think you should stop reading. 

I am putting this trigger warning because even if some of you think that it doesn't happen to people, it does. It's even happened to me. I was reading an Undertale comic that was slowly vague but then revealed at the end that they were talking about suicide (they meaning Sans and Frisk), and committing suicide together. Normally I can handle reading very sad things, but the art and pictures of it all and the words got me so upset that I had a form of mental attack after reading it and I called my friend to help calm me down and make me feel better. And this is coming from someone who is now _giving_ you a trigger warning about a fanfiction. 

Steps to remember if you are sure you want to read this fanfiction:

Now, this fanfiction might not get bad for some, but this fanfiction might for others. Please keep this in mind as everyone is fragile in their own ways and certain areas. 

1: If you are willing to read, go on ahead. However, if you feel like something you are reading is becoming quite uncomfortable for you, or you feel an overwhelming sense of anxiety, then I advise you to stop reading and try and find something else to do to help you take your mind off of it. This could mean looking up funny videos, looking up another fanfiction, calling a friend, or maybe even playing a video game.

2: If you are reading something and it is bringing back maybe sensitive memories that have affected you in the past before, you should probably stop reading unless you have resolved whatever memories or problems that you were reminded of.

3: If you have any form of PTSD, and you even have the slightest hint or thought that these chapters might be a little too sensitive for you, I _REALLY_ recommend you stop reading. This fanfiction revolves around PTSD, and I do not want you do go through something terrible. Please keep a clear sense of self-evaltuation in mind before reading this fanfiction.

4: Self-evaluation is key. You need to come into this fanfiction with a clear head of what you can handle and what you cannot. If you even think for a second that something you are reading is even slightly triggering, (and I mean the actual definition of triggering, not just "oh my god TRIGGERED") then please, _please_ stop reading. I don't want anyone to be hurt emotionally/mentally. You really need to know what you are doing when reading this. 

I love you all so much, and I really hope that this will be a wonderful journey exploring the unknown. Also, a little update! Chapter 10 will be out soon, I'm about halfway done with it. I hope you guys are prepared for something HUGE! (In a good way, promise). 

One more thing:

Okay, so I don't know why but I've always thought of Mettaton as a girl?? And I know that I can't be the _only_ one, and I know that the majority thinks of Mettaton as a man. So to resolve the whole thing, I have decided to stick with "they" pronouns for Mettaton. So everyone can think what they want to think about Mettaton, and no one has to ask me really condescending questions about it or get into wars with other people about it. Alrighty, update over!

See you guys in the next chapter!

-"Rhodi" Rachel


	10. Chapter 10

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Le chapter for le lovely people. I don't really have much to say, but if I do you can find it through this link. https://www.tumblr.com/blog/julianightweave
> 
> See you in the next chapter!
> 
> -"Rhodi" Rachel

I look over at the clock, careful not to move my head recklessly. From loss of sleep, I got a massive headache that doesn’t seem to go away. The clock reads 5:30 AM. I push the covers off of me, and I slowly make my way to the window of my room. Its glass is stained by the soft glow of the slow sunrise in the distance. Looking past, the sky looks like a vast sea, waiting to be explored by any adventurer that might come across. The still and serene ocean up above envelops me, I can’t tear my eyes from the sight. I could be lost forever in this gaze, and I think I would be okay with that.

Eventually, I have to force myself to stop looking through the window. I head over to the bathroom down the hall, and I can hear some people talking downstairs as I’m walking. I walk inside, I start a shower and step in.

I let the water rush down for minutes, even though it felt like hours. In a good way, though. I close my eyes and sigh. I really needed this. I felt like hunching over and just crying, but something in me wasn’t letting me cry. I actually start to shower instead of standing there, and I try to put things off of my mind for a few minutes at least.

_Dum dum dum dum dumm dumm dumm_ , I sing. I close my eyes as I sing the precious song that echoed the walls in Waterfall. Near the statue, specifically. I imagine the water pouring on me as I shower is that of the rain that fell over the statue. I relish in the memory of sitting there for hours next to the statue, singing along with its tune. Suddenly, I’m balling on the floor of the tub, a slobbering mess. 

_“Frisk!?”_

__I cover my face from the world. I can feel blood trickling from my head, I can’t stop these tears from streaming down my face, both mixing with the water below._ _

__The door slams open. I hear the shower curtain being shoved aside, but I can’t bring myself to look. I’m clutching onto my body as if it was for dear life._ _

__“Frisk, oh my God, okay, we gotta get you up.”_ _

__I notice it’s Undyne’s voice. I feel her arms link around mine, helping me up from the floor of the tub. Undyne turns off the shower, and grabs a towel from the rack to wrap around me. The tears, though not as profusely, still fall from my face. I can’t move. I can’t bring my body to move. All I do is shake._ _

__I choke, trying to force words. “I-... I-... I- ca-a-an’t-t..”_ _

__Undyne steps into the tub, and puts her back to the tub wall to face me. She carefully takes me and hugs me close. I thank her in the depths of my mind. I can’t explain myself. I can’t answer any questions or are you okay’s. I continue to cry in her shoulder, and I feel like my SOUL might break at any minute._ _

__I calm myself down before anything happens. I take my head off of Undyne’s shoulder and I start to stand up, even though I’m terribly wobbly at first. Undyne stands up and takes my arm, helping me out of the bathtub._ _

__I look over at Undyne, and she gives me a small smile. She opens her mouth to begin saying something, but is cut short when we hear the door slam from downstairs._ _

__“Darlings! We are _here_!”_ _

__“Hey, everybody!”_ _

__I hear someone jumping up the stairs to the second floor, and I squeak as I tighten the towel around me. Papyrus jumps up and down once he sees me and Undyne._ _

__“Come on guys, you _gotta_ finish getting ready! Mettaton and I were going to take you all out today! Wait, hey- are you alright Frisk?”_ _

__My heart practically stops at the question, and I give him a confused look. Then, I realized that my eyes were probably really red from crying._ _

__“Oh, uh-”_ _

__Undyne jumps into my aid. “Yeah, the little punk’s doin’ good. The morning’s been crazy, yeah?”_ _

__Undyne looks over at me, and I give her an appreciative smile._ _

__“I’ll go get ready then, alright Papyrus?” I smile, heading towards my room._ _

__“Sure thing!”_ _

__I walk into my room, dry my hair, and throw some clothes on. I put on a tad oversized red t-shirt, some jean capris, and some old, scratched up, black Vans I owned. I go to open the door when I hear Sans’ laugh from downstairs amongst the chatter. I close my eyes and I let out a long sigh. What would I even do when I saw the two? Would there be a big scene, or would it just go on like normal? I decide to just find out when I get there, and I open the door and walk down the staircase. Chit-chat still goes on, and Mettaton runs up to give me a hug once I get down the stairs. I hug them tightly, and out of the corner of my eye I see Sans watching me from the nearby couch. I try to ignore it and focus on Mettaton, but it’s hard. I can’t explain it- something just pulls me to it, almost._ _

__SANS  
\----------------_ _

__I hear her little footsteps walking down the staircase. I can’t help but turn my head to see her. She looks like she’d just cried a thousand tears, but a smile was somehow painted on her face. I wanted to kiss her and hug her and make her feel all better, but something inside me also wanted to scream at her. To make her give me the answers to all of this. Something inside me hated the fact that I wanted to kiss her, and hug her, and make her feel all better. I didn’t know which feeling to follow. I don’t know anymore if it’s even a good idea to stick around with Frisk. I don’t know if it’s worth the time anymore. I glance over at Alphys when Mettaton and Frisk have a hug and a chat, and Alphys rolls her eyes at the sight of Frisk. It makes me wince a little, and I sigh in defeat. I start talking to Papyrus, Undyne and Alphys as if everything was normal. But, even if we were talking, I couldn’t keep my eyes off of Frisk. I knew her too well. I knew that smile was fake._ _

__

__FRISK  
\-------------------------_ _

__Papyrus jumps out of his chair and claps his hands together. “Alrighty, everybody! Mettaton and I have a special day for us all!”_ _

__Mettaton walks over and wraps their arm around Papyrus. “That’s right, darlings. Today we’re going around town and having a nice day out today!”_ _

__Everyone got pretty excited, and so we all got into Mettaton’s car and drove to the city. Mettaton brought an SUV so she would be able to fit all of us, and fortunately I didn’t have to sit next to Alphys. Unfortunately, though, I had to sit right next to Sans. Shoulder to shoulder. Undyne sat with Alphys in the seats behind Mettaton and Papyrus, and I almost sat by myself when Sans silently sat next to me when we all got in. I assumed it was because he didn’t want me to feel entirely alone. I look over to him, and he does anything else but look back. Looking out the window, looking straight up front, but never in my direction. It was so awkward sitting in the car next to him. I lay back in my seat and I can’t help but feel my eyes start to flutter shut out of exhaustion. I keep trying to stay awake; I even get as far as keeping my eyes open with my own fingers. I can’t do anything though, and I slowly start to fall asleep._ _

__“Frisk, we’re here!”_ _

__I yell out as I jerk up from the seat. I look down at the little watch I’m wearing, and I notice I open was out for a few minutes. I sigh in relief, thinking about what would have happened if I had started dreaming. I unbuckle my seatbelt, and get out of the car. I look around and apparently we’re starting at the park. I see Papyrus jumping up and down for something, but I can’t quite make out his speed talking after jerking awake like that. He makes a running start towards something, and after squinting my eyes and trying to look further into the park, I notice that there is a little ice cream stand there. I smile, and I make my way towards Papyrus, as everyone else does._ _

__“I’d like a chocolate ice cream cone please!” cheers Papyrus._ _

__I make it to Papyrus first, and he looks down at me. “Would you like anything, Human?”_ _

__I nod and give a thankful smile. “Yeah. I would like a coffee ice cream cone, please.”_ _

__Everyone else makes it to the stand, and they all start ordering._ _

__“Hey Guy, how’s it going?” asks Sans._ _

__The bunny’s ears perk up at his name, and smiles down at the skeleton. “It’s been going..” his smile fades, “It’s not really been going that great, actually. There have been lots of Humans around nowadays that, well, don’t really like the fact that I’m here. I’ve been a little scared, actually. Wondering if I should move elsewhere.”_ _

__I look down at the ground and frown. No one really knew what to say. And Guy was really nice. I could never imagine anyone not liking him._ _

__I assume Guy read us pretty well, because he gave our cones out in a jiffy and gave us a reassuring smile. “Don’t worry guys, it’ll be alright. Take care!”_ _

__We all give our thanks and head back on the sidewalk. Mettaton and Papyrus told us that they thought it would be cool to walk around the city, and we could just walk back here later to drive home. Papyrus and Mettaton are in the front talking, along with Alphys. Papyrus and Undyne sometimes converse through the walk about miscellaneous things, and Sans cracking his normal puns. The only thing that was out of place was me. I stuck out like a sore thumb; with the bags under my eyes, the sluggish movements, and the quiet aura. Sans and Alphys ignored me the entire time we were walking, and I could tell Papyrus was starting to get a little worried about me; trying to give me little pep-talks, or trying to get me to talk at all, really. Mettaton joined in, too, and I tried my best for them. I could tell I was the one ruining all this, and the day hadn’t even started. I felt like just going home and crying. Like I shouldn’t even have been there in the first place. The group seemed to give up on me, and started conversing among themselves, leaving me a bit in the dust. I was glad, though. I was tired of feeling like I was just dragging them._ _

__We were walking a lot. Taking pictures, browsing around the city. The group started to get a bit ahead of me, and I was soon pretty far behind. I could see Undyne look past her shoulder and see me losing pace, and she gradually slowed, letting the group leave her behind, too. I made my way up to her, and she started walking alongside with me._ _

__Undyne wrapped her arm around my shoulder, and pulled me in a bit closer to her. “Tell me what’s on your mind, Punk. Tell me everythin’.”_ _

__I look up at her, silently asking her if she _really_ wants to know. She gives me a knowing smile, and I feel a tad comfortable to tell her._ _

__“I feel like I’m a burden. I feel like I’m a burden to all of them, being this sad. Sans is ignoring me, and so is Alphys. Toriel is furious at me, and I don’t know what I should be doing anymore or how I should be feeling.”_ _

__It’s silent for a moment. “Well, why are Sans and Alphys ignoring you?”_ _

__Now it’s really silent. I have no idea how I’m going to tell her this. I have no idea what’s going to happen _if_ I tell her this. Will she react just like they did?_ _

__“Hey, Punk, come back to me. You look like you’ve gone completely pale.”_ _

__I shake back into reality, and I let out a sigh. “Sans told Alphys something that I didn’t want him to tell about me.”_ _

__Undyne gives a confused look. “Okay, well, what was it?”_ _

__“...”_ _

__“...You remember how I hurt that kid at the school?”_ _

__“Mhm.”_ _

__“It wasn’t me, Undyne. It wasn’t _me_.”_ _

__There’s a long silence in the air._ _

__“You really think so?”_ _

__“...”_ _

__“Yes. Yes, I do.”_ _

__Undyne looks down at me, and I look back at her._ _

__“Then I trust you.”_ _

__I open my mouth, but nothing comes out. She chuckles, and she looks ahead.  
“Frisk, I know what it’s like to know that it’s not you who’s doing something, but no one seems to believe you. I know what it’s like to blackout, and not remember a thing that happened. It happened to me after the War,” Undyne looks down at the ground, and her voice wavers a bit. She bites her lip and keeps going, “you remember, right? The War between Monsters and Humans?”_ _

__I nod, and she continues._ _

__“Well, Frisk, I was there. I can remember seeing the faces of my friends when they were slaughtered into oblivion. I can remember fighting endlessly with everything that I had, for it all to end up into ash. I was one of 1000 survivors. Do you know how many we had before the War, Frisk?”_ _

__I shake my head._ _

__“We had a million people, Frisk. And I watched all of them burn around me.”_ _

__I lower my head, and I try and hold back tears as we keep walking on the sidewalk._ _

__“When I was cast into the Underground with the others, I couldn’t do anything. I couldn’t be anything. I didn’t know whether or not I should suck it up, or just jump off a cliff somewhere or take my own life with my blade. That’s when I met Asgore. Someone who was so nice, yet so strong. You couldn’t _not_ have hope. I started working for him as Head of the Royal Guard, very shortly after the War. That’s when it all hit me, though.”_ _

__I look up at her, waiting for her to tell me what she means._ _

__“I remember when I used to think I was back in the War, watching my friends die. I would have flashes, and I would be fighting again. And I would take my blade out and I would thrash about, thinking I was trying to save my friends. I couldn’t save them though. They were already dead.”_ _

__“I would come back to reality, realizing that I had hurt something, or maybe even someone. Everyone was terrified of me, and I was shunned and exiled. Asgore trusted me, though. He knew it wasn’t me. Just like how you know it wasn’t _you_.” She puts her pointer finger on my chest._ _

__“You need a friend? You come to me. I know what that dark road is like, Frisk. I understand. And I’m here for you. If anything like that happens again, I’ll be there for you to help bring you back, alright?”_ _

__I nod my head, and I can’t hold the tears back anymore. A few of them manage to fall from my face, down my cheeks._ _

__“Don’t let it get to you too much, Punk. Remember this: the only people who can truly break us are _ourselves_. Never forget that.”_ _


	11. Chapter 11

The crowd keeps going on in the distance. I wipe my tears from my face, and I keep walking with Undyne in silence. We start walking for a while down the sidewalk until we find ourselves with the group again at Muffet’s shop. I look above the door to see an eloquent written title, “Arachnophile”. The shop was a little bakery, and it looked to be some sort of French theme. It was very beautiful, and I could smell the sweet scent of treats permeating the air around the shop. 

“Mettaton, can we please go in? _Please _?” plead Papyrus.__

__“Dear, we just went to go get ice cream though!” Mettaton giggles and wraps her arm around Papyrus, “How about this: we all go shopping around the city for a bit and then afterwards we’ll stop back here and grab something to eat?”_ _

__Papyrus nods his head enthusiastically, and we again begin our walk around the city. It was hard to be happy about the day out; all of it seemed bleak. Nothing about it seemed exciting; not like it had before all of this._ _

__As we’re walking about the city, there’s something that catches my eye. I have to squint my eyes for what I’m seeing; we were walking towards it but it was still a little ways away. The building looked green, with some over-hangers. We near the shop, and I notice it’s a little flower shop. It looks.. Oddly familiar. We pass by the shop, and for just a brief moment I still don’t understand._ _

_Hm-_

_**”What are we going to do with the flowers, mommy?"** _

_**”Well Frisk, we’re going to take these beautiful little flowers home and put them in our new garden! Then I can teach you all you need to know about taking care of them. Now, before we leave, are you sure you want this kind of flower?”** _

_**”Yeah, mommy!”**_

_**”Very well then, dear. I think these will do lovely.”** _

_**”Mommy, do you think these flowers will look nice enough to be with our buttercups? And..”** _

_**”Yes, I am quite sure of it! I think the buttercups will love them. And, yes, Frisk. So will he.”**_

_**”One last thing, mommy. What are these flowers called again?”** _

_**”My dear, they’re called Black Eyed Susans! And they’re going to look beautiful in our little garden.”**_

“Frisk, are you okay?” 

_____I freeze up and look to my left, Undyne waiting for me to the side. I realize I’m standing right in front of the store, looking at the little pots for Black Eyed Susans. I let out a little sigh, and I turn to start walking with Undyne again._ _ _ _ _

_____“Yeah, just an old little memory, that’s all.”  
\---------------_ _ _ _ _

_____It took us a while at glancing at shops, but we finally found one that Mettaton approved of. We walked into the boutique, and Mettaton immediately met with one of their tailors to converse; probably on something she wanted designed and sewn. I begin to explore the room with their extravagant clothes as Alphys walks up to Undyne to talk about something. Sans and Papyrus are together, talking about who knows what. I felt so vulnerable in this room, for some reason. With all of them around me in groups, while I was all by myself. At least when we were walking down the street I had Undyne with me. Now looking back at them all together, I felt so unfit for the group. Like a triangle trying to fit in a circle._ _ _ _ _

_____I try to focus on the clothes, keeping myself from saddening further. It was hard, though. I wasn’t too much into clothes, and it was very obvious to myself why I was looking at them in the first place. I shift uncomfortably on one foot to another, ‘you shouldn’t be here’s running over and over in my mind. I look over and I see a restroom across from me. I decide to head inside the room to get away from everything. I close the door and turn on the lights, revealing a pretty eloquent restroom for a shop. I immediately sit on one of the stools, resting my back against the wall and trying to calm myself down. Everything hurt. My SOUL ached in pain with every move I made and every step I took. I can get used to the pain after a while, but once I’m like this it hits me like a truck. My heart aches after all that has been happening, and I always feel like I’m about to burst into tears. Like a little glass pane that’s only seconds from hitting the floor, smashing into thousands of little shards._ _ _ _ _

_Hehehe!_

_______I look around for the noise frantically. What was that?_ _ _ _ _ _ _

_It’s funny to see you mope like this. What a failure you are._

A… failure? 

That _is_ what I am, isn’t it? 

___________“Darling, are you in there?”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

___________I jump and shriek at the voice with the sudden knocking on the door. “Y-yeah! I’m in here.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

___________I get up from the stool, opening the door to face Mettaton. Their face looked drowned in worry. “Honey, are you okay?”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

___________I look up at Mettaton, forcing a smile on my face. “Yeah, I’m fine!”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

___________Mettaton linked arms with me, “Alright honey. Okay everyone, let’s go out shopping some more!”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

___________\------------------------_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

___________We had been on the sidewalk again for a while, seeing the city and finding places we thought would be nice to check out. Mettaton already had bags and bags of items, even to the point of Papyrus having to carry one half while Mettaton carried the other. I kind of giggle at seeing them like that. Mettaton always makes her own MTT brand of, well, _everything _it seemed. Yet here they are carrying loads and loads of fashion wear.___ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_____________Mettaton saw another store that she wanted to enter. They said that it was going to be the last one since they had so many bags, and so we would drop them all off at the car and head to Arachnophile. Mettaton and Papyrus went in and immediately starting looking at clothes, Papyrus being her guide at what looked nice and what didn’t. I smirked at how bad he was though; I knew he couldn’t ever tell Mettaton they looked bad in something. Papyrus thought Mettaton never looked bad in anything. I saw Undyne tugging on Alphys’ arm, slowly making there way to a section of dresses Undyne had said would look cute on Alphys. I saw them head over to try ones on at the rack, and so that meant there was only one person with me.___ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_______________“Hiya.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

I looked next to him and forced what was probably _some_ form of a smile. “Hey.” 

_________________“Stop giving that face. You’re really terrible at faking things.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_________________My faux smile drops as I stare into his pin pricks. I look away from him, giving my attention to the clothes Mettaton was picking out._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_________________“Wow,” I say sarcastically, “to think you’d even care about little old me and a little fake smile. Romantic.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_________________Sans scoffs, and I feel a hand slip into mine. I immediately grasp it without thinking twice; like it was simply second nature to me._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_________________“Oh wow, to think you’d actually take my hand so quickly. Romantic,” he teases back._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_________________I sigh, and I let out a small laugh before the sound abruptly stops, my head hanging low._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_________________“Why did you say what you said back in the room the other day?” I quivered._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

“Frisk. You need to understand that I _don’t understand_. Just like you don’t. This could be something that’s happening with your SOUL, not some being-” 

___________________I let out an angered laugh, “So that’s what Alphys proposed, I’m assuming?”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

___________________Sans lets go of my hand and tugs my arm, pulling me to face him._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

“Why can’t you just accept the _fact_ that your ‘intuition’ isn’t _always_ right, dammit?” he growls at me, squinting, “We haven’t even figured out much about the SOUL yet, nonetheless its potential.” 

“Why can’t _you_ just accept the fact that sometimes things don’t _make_ sense, Sans!” I pull my arm away from him, “Maybe _you’re_ just too scared to accept the fact that _I_ might be _right_ , and you’re just trying to smear it with false accusations and presumptions! This is _me_ , Sans! I’m not perfect and I’m not predictable and I’m not _okay_! Don’t you get that!?” 

Sans stands back in shock, and I look around the room after my screaming. Everyone in the store has stopped everything and is staring at me. I reach up to my face and I feel the tears running down my face. 

“I have to get out of here.” 

I brush past Sans as I rush out the door of the shop. Before I even exit the door I hear people calling out, but I give no mind to it. I hear my footsteps clack against the pavement as I’m sprinting. I try and focus my mind on just that; trying to quell any other thoughts that dare to bombard. I keep sprinting with all my might, my chest huffing and puffing. I feel my body slowly begin to give up, and I have to halt to a stop. I look around me to see where I am, and I look to see the little flower shop next to me, the building standing tall as ever. 

Something about it struck me, and I turned my head and kept on moving. I didn’t look back to see if anyone had followed me. I didn’t want them to. 

Why did I have to be like this? Am I petty? I bet that’s what at least some of them would say. That I wasn’t what I once had been, that I was a _has been_. Maybe they’re right. 

_Who am I kidding, I **know** they’re right._

Even so, I felt better to be out of that store. The atmosphere choked me, it seemed. Like I was under pressure at all times: to say the right thing and do the right thing. To be who I once was. To make sure that there wasn’t anything wrong with me. 

I made my way out of the city before I realized something. Where was I going to go? I couldn’t go to Toriel’s house _certainly_ , and I couldn’t go to Alphys’ house because I don’t even have a key. I can’t just sit there _waiting_ for them to come back, either. 

Because of this, I start walking around the outskirts of the city to find somewhere to at least wait. I could come back to Alphys’ house when everyone was home, and then I could just sneak my way in or something. I sigh and I begin walking. I don’t care anymore. I’m too tired to care anymore. 

\--------------------------------- 

I ended up finding a nearby park to wait at that was relatively near Alphys’ house. I make my way over to the park, and I take notice of the delicate spring leaves being blown off of their trees. I see their leaves meet the ground, quickly being swept up by the wind. Like a sea and its waves. I walk past them to the nearest bench and slowly sit down. An unoccupied playground set stares at me from afar, yearning to hear the laughs of joyous children. It’s pleasantly quiet in the park, but I find it deeply unsettling all at the same time. I didn’t want quiet. I’m quite afraid of it at this point; as if it was a gateway to my deepest, darkest thoughts that lurk inside my head. Even so, I try and get a hold of myself. I think of all of the things going on with me right now. Not what was going on, but _why_ it was going on. I need to clear some things. 

_Okay, so first thing’s first. Toriel is mad at me. I don’t know why she’s so mad at me, but it’s been a long time since she’s even tried to check up on me. I haven’t spoken a word to her in what seems like so long._

I lower my head, my thoughts seeming to be staring at me from the ground. _When did she learn to hate me? When did she think I became a… monster… to her?_

_Right, when the attack happened._

My chest tightens a little bit at the thought, and I cringe inside. 

_She couldn’t believe that was me, right?_

_...Right?_

I start to remember all of the fun times we had together. I remember when we first left the Underground, and at first the world was in a riot about Monsters coming back from the barrier. A couple years after, however, there were enough Monsters and Humans that fought aside us for their rights. After that, Toriel and I weren’t so busy and could actually build the life that we wanted. I helped her through thick and thin building the school, and we went on a bunch of adventures on our own. I remember all of the trips we went on, all the gatherings we threw, all of the trips we made to the ice cream stand. I thought she would know be better- after knowing me for so long. 

_Maybe some things aren’t as unconditional as they seem._

_And why would Sans not believe me? Does he? Does he not? Why is it that one minute he is speaking to me, then accusing me, then ignoring me, then trying to start conversation, then trying to accuse me again?_

_Why would he do something like that to me?_

_Why is Undyne the only one who could possibly believe me? Undyne doesn’t even fully understand what’s happening to me, does she? Then **why**?_

_Why would Alphys go from helping me in the hospital, to accusing me like I’m some fool? Why does **no one** believe me?_

I rest my elbows on my knees, and I take my face in my hands. I begin to sob silently. 

“Why…” I croak, my voice cracking, “What is wrong with me…? Why does no one...?” 

“Frisk!” 

I jump at the shout, and I turn my head to see Undyne, Papyrus and Mettaton coming from behind me. I turn around and I virtually shrink into myself. 

_No, no, no no-_

Undyne comes up in front of me, and she kneels down to look up at my face, my eyes plastered to the ground. 

“Frisk… You’re gonna get through all this, okay?” she whispers, “You know why?” 

I look over at her, waiting for her to finish. 

Undyne lets out one of her big grins, full of her razor sharp teeth. She laughs, “Because I said so, Punk!” 

I scoff, looking the other way before looking back at her. I knew that she was trying to cheer me up, but I could see the knowing in her eyes. I nodded, and I got up from the bench. 

Papyrus runs up and gives me a huge hug. “The human is okay again! Okay, now we need to go to Arachnopile!” he turns over to Mettaton, “You promised!” 

Mettaton giggles, “Okay, dear. We’ll go.” 

I look at the gang, and I notice something’s a little odd. “Where’s Alphys and Sans?” 

Right as I say this, I notice Undyne looking right at the ground. Mettaton gives a quick glance towards Papyrus before answering me, “We told them that we were going to go looking for you, and they told us that they would be at Muffet’s shop waiting for us.” 

_Oh. So that’s how it really is._

I give a small smile and a nod, and we all start heading to the restaurant. 

\------------------------------------------ 

“Hey guys, finally you’re here.” Sans chuckles. 

We had entered Arachnophile and we had quickly found the table Alphys and Sans were sitting at. I know I didn’t want anyone finding me, but knowing that Sans didn’t care _that_ much sent my heart throbbing in pain. I brushed off his welcoming as we all sat down at the table. 

I didn’t really say much while we were in Arachnophile. Unless Mettaton and Papyrus were asking me a question, the only person I really talked to while at the table was Undyne. Her and I sat more at the end of the table, so it was easier to talk in little voices than if I was talking with the others. I felt so much more comfortable with Undyne. Not _like_ she is the only one who understands- or even cares, but she _is_ the only one who understands or even cares. There was no way in hell any of us were going to bombard Papyrus and Mettaton’s life with all the drama, so they were out of the picture. On top of that, all the others- Toriel, Alphys, Sans- all of them probably wouldn’t even care if I died this instant. I felt so distant to all of them. Undyne kept me kind of grounded, though. Something I really needed nowadays. 

It was around evening when we were all finishing our meals that Papyrus got out of his chair. 

“Everyone! I have an announcement,” he beamed. 

_______________________________________Mettaton looked at him with surprised eyes as he continued._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_______________________________________“So, I would like to talk about someone that is very important to me. This person is someone I have always looked up to as one of my idols, and is someone that I have loved since the very beginning. Mettaton, that is you.” Papyrus blushed._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_______________________________________“I remember the day we all had broken the barrier thanks to Frisk,” he smiles at me, “and I remember that short era as the building blocks of our new life together, Mettaton. Now, we have a beautiful home together with a beautiful life, with beautiful friends and memories.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_______________________________________Papyrus gets on one knee, and Mettaton looks like they’re about to cry. Papyrus pulls out a indigo velvet box from his coat pocket, and looks Mettaton straight in the eyes. “Mettaton, I want to make more memories with you. I want to turn all of these building blocks we have into a castle. Then after that, I want to put you in that castle because you’re too lovely to be without one.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_______________________________________Papyrus opens the velvet box to introduce a beautiful diamond and ruby ring._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_______________________________________“Mettaton, will you marry me?”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_______________________________________Mettaton starts crying, and they wrap their arms around Papyrus’ neck. “Yes, dear. Yes, I will!”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_______________________________________Everyone in the shop begins clapping, and I clap vigorously with excitement. I watch Papyrus slide the engagement ring onto Mettaton’s finger, and they both share a kiss._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_______________________________________After everyone settles down in the restaurant, we start to leave. Papyrus tried to pay for the meal before we all left, but Muffet refused; saying that this is her gift for their engagement. We all gave our thanks, and we left for the streets, making our way home._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

Papyrus and Mettaton said goodbye to us as we got to Alphys’ house. We all congratulated them again on their engagement, and we all went inside. As soon as the door shut, the atmosphere completely changed. Like a curtain finally let down from the theatre’s stage. Where the behind the scenes were seen in full color. I took the immediate air as my cue to leave up to my room, and I quickly said goodnight to Undyne. I tried to spend my hours staying awake, but much to my dismay, I couldn’t _never_ sleep again. It’s been too big of a day. I pray within my mind, hoping that maybe I’ll get lucky. 


	12. The Secret Garden

All that my vision portrays is of clouds and leaves. The trees shine brightly throughout the scenery. The clouds whip through the sky, seemingly softer than silk. I soon realize that I’m seeing this because I’m merely laying down on the ground. I slowly get up, disoriented from the new perception. This place… it’s a familiar place. I’ve been here before. Where have I been here before? 

I slowly get up, my entire being feeling wobbly and feeble. Sluggishly, I turn one-hundred-eighty degrees, taking in the entire environment. The answer to my previous question is daringly close, however, agonizingly far away. I shuffle through the forest, down a small dirt path. There are flowers that decorate the outlines of the makeshift road, honing a sense of welcome. Something pings in my heart, a stinging pain. Too familiar, it is. Why can’t I remember?- 

**_“Mommy, mommy! Come on, we gotta go!”_ **

**_“Dear, we have all the time in the world to get there!”_ **

**_“But mommy, I want him to see them! I want him to see ‘em!”_ **

**_“He’ll see them when we get there and plant them, honey. We’re just about there!”_ **

**_“Don’t give me that puff, we’re already here- see? Was that so hard?”_ **

**_“Don’t worry, sweetie. He’s going to see them. He’s going to love them.”_ **

I know where I am. 

I can’t help but crack a smile. I would know this place better than anyone, ironically. I spent all of my time here as a child. It baffles me it even took me this long to figure out where I was. The beautiful garden that Toriel and I built is what it is; we had an abundance of buttercups and Black Eyed Susans that stretched along the garden. It all covered his body… Asriel’s body, that is. I’ll never forget that fateful day. After the souls left his body, after we destroyed the barrier... he was completely drained of any life that had possibly occupied his body. He did not turn back into Flowey like he predicted he would. No, he would later die in my arms on top of the grave he had spent his last hours tending to. Like tending to old amends. I remember carrying him out of the barrier, crying my little eyes out. I remember the way Toriel and Asgore looked as they saw me bring their only son to them, a lifeless being. Something cast in their eyes besides their sorrow. Something like, something like a recollection. I didn’t know what for, and I didn’t want to ask. So I never did. 

I take in the scenery as slow as I can whilst walking the path, gradually inhaling the aroma of the carefully-gardened flowers. It brings me back to a better time. A better place. I close my eyes with a peaceful aura, reminiscing of the times Toriel and I would garden. I focus on the environment around me, just by feeling alone. Like how the sun escaped the clouds in just a way where it would feel noticeable. The wind whips softly throughout the garden, a divine rush enveloping me. The rustle of the leaves and branches fills my eardrums, and in this moment, I don’t feel so empty anymore. 

Something inside me tells me to open my eyes now. I open my eyes, and the expanse of the actual garden stands before me. The garden was always very large, but I hadn’t noticed until now. It had been so long since I had visited it. Even when I was still at Toriel’s we had stopped going after a while. I never knew why; I never even comprehended it until now. Or how something inside me ached to see it again. 

The garden seemed endless from the entrance. I start to walk amid the flowers and their respective paths, reminiscing each and every bundle Toriel and I had planted into the ground. It seemed like the days were just within my reach, yet _just_ within my reach. Taking my time with each and every one of the beds of flowers, I feel like I could be here forever. I hadn’t felt this good in so long; it felt like it was a new day. Everything felt so light-hearted, every burden and worry taken off of my shoulders. I felt like the person I once was. 

Walking up the path, I notice something on one of the rows of flowers. Curious, I go over to the flowers and crouch down to inspect it. The particular bed had a serious wilt to its flowers, hanging there lifeless. I get up and I start to gaze around the garden, seeing if there were any other beds that were like that one. I could see a few sprouting here and there, and I went over to each one to see what the problem could be. They all looked like they should have been fine. I get up from each bed, and I have no explanation to the flowers. Feeling a little odd about the flowers, I shake off the feeling and continue my walk around the beds. 

I reached one of the curvatures of the garden, and I make my way to its second half. I stand there in shock as I see almost the entire half enveloping in withering flowers. I rush over to them to inspect, but nothing seems to be wrong with the soil, and it’s not like they’re not getting enough light. I whip my head around the garden’s grounds, hoping to find a watering can. I make my way to one of the nearby spickets, finding a little blue can next to it. I frantically grab the can and fill it up with as much water as I can. Rushing over to the beds, I start to water all of them with the bucket. The water dampens and darkens the soil, but around me I see more and more flowers begin to wilt. I look back down and notice that the watering can is empty. Back and forth I fill the can, bringing it to water the flowers. I glance around, and the entire garden is withering now. Each bud, each bloom, completely black. The wind has stopped. The sun’s shine has dimmed. The flowers are dead.

 _No, no, the flowers can’t be dead. They were thriving minutes ago! No, no this is just some sort of joke. The flowers aren’t really dead. This isn’t real. I just need to keep watering the flowers, that’s all. Yeah. More water- I need more water._

I sprint to the spicket, filling my can up more. I run back to the same bed I was before. This can’t go bad- not like this. Not here. This can’t be spoiled. The water dumps on the bed, overbearing for the flowers. I go back to the spicket. I fill my can once more. I dump it again on the bed.

With panicked eyes, I gaze at the flowers, its bed now overrun with water- its soil flooded. My knees feel weak once more, and I clumsily find the ground as a sitting place. The can, first in my hands, stumbles to the ground as well; a metal heap floating in water. 

I sit there in shock for a few moments, incapable of comprehending what to do next. Then, as if my body knew all along what to do, I stood up and kept staring at the flowers. I slowly turn away and begin walking down the rows of flowers. Something’s telling me to go this way. It’s… pulling me there. 

As I’m walking through the outer rows of the garden, I notice something odd out of the corner of my eye. The small monument that stood on the ground is now crumbled, a cold pile of rubble. I jog over there to inspect the monument, but something from afar catches my attention. I strain my eyes to see their face, something that looks like they’re holding. I quickly connect the two and my sight shoots downward towards the ground, where the monument lies in pieces. 

“You know, they’re really not fun to play with when they’re like this.”

I look back upward towards the figure. From this far, it’s almost as if they’re clouded in some darkness. With hesitation, I decide to take a few, slow steps forward to see who the person is.

“Oh, don’t worry dear. You already know who I am.”

They were right. I knew exactly who they were; it was the one from my previous dreams. The one who’s been inside my head. I start to panic even more at the sight of them- even more so when I see them clutching Asriel’s body. 

Seeing Asriel’s body in their arms blew me away. I couldn’t even imagine- why?

“What is _your problem?!_ ” I shriek, stepping closer. My eyes feel like ponds that I can’t help but let overflow. Everything inside me is boiling at the site of them clutching his body. My vocal chords I can feel are going numb, but I keep going anyway, “What do you even _want?! Why are you here?!_ ”

They toss their head to the side and cackle, keeping hold on Asriel. They turn their head towards me, eyes staring deep into mine. As if they were looking _into me_. Their face turns serious for a moment, and I stand there in petrifying fear. Their face then turns blank, only for a moment though, before turning into an unhinging smile. Looking back down at Asriel’s body in their arms, they ignore my outburst.

“You know why they’re not fun to play like this?”

I stand silent, too frightened to speak.

“Well, do you?”

I absentmindedly let out a small crack in my voice before answering, “N-no, I don’t.”

They giggle and look back up at me.

“You silly. No one so cold and still is ever fun to play with.”

I don’t realize I’ve held in my air supply until I feel like I’m about to pass out, tears brimming in my eyes once more. The one holding Asriel begins petting his lifeless fur, beginning to hum a song. Nothing comes to my mind of what I should do- I’m too shocked to do anything. To think anything.

“You’re so lucky, you know. You get to see them again,” They say, still petting Asriel’s fur. “I can’t see them anymore. At least, not after they went away. When they went cold and still.”

My body starts to tremble, and I let out a croak, “W-who?”

The person stops petting Asriel’s fur, and shifts their gaze to me with another horrifying smile. 

“Why, _my family_ , of course! The Dreemurr family!”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you guys would like to follow for anymore updates, BTS moments and just general talking and whatnot, then come 'round to http://julianightweave.tumblr.com/. I hear it's a pretty cool place, actually.
> 
> See you guys in the next chapter!
> 
> -"Rhodi" Rachel


	13. Chapter 13

I wake up in a jolt with tears forming in my eyes. Throwing the sheets to the side of the bed, the air feels sticky from sweat. I try to think about it, what just happened, but I can’t bring myself to. My breathing is ragged, and it feels as if someone is gripping on my lungs. I sit up and I try to calm down, but it seems to be of no use. Nothing of that dream is something I can comprehend. So many questions ring, like a tsunami of confusion.

_And yet, it’s just another day, isn’t it?_

Hunched over, I sit on the side of my bed. Silence recedes from the room as I shut my eyes and begin to laugh. Hysteria consumes me as I throw my head back, tears flinging from my eyes- a desperate cackle escapes my lips. I continue to cry, but this laughter pursues. I wrap my arms around my knees and bring them close, my laughter abruptly turning into choked cries. 

There’s a soft knock that sounds at my door. My face shoots up from my knees, and my heart skips a beat out of fear. I quickly wipe my eyes and my feet pad over to the door. Slowly grabbing and turning the knob, I crack the door open slightly.

“Yes?” I whisper.

“Hey, punk. You okay?”

I look through the crack, noticing Undyne’s dejected face. I stare anywhere else but at Undyne as I sigh and shake my head. I open the door up more, letting Undyne into the room I’m staying in. 

“I could hear you from the bedroom. It was a bit muffled, but I could tell what was going on pretty easily,” she frowned.

I sit down on the bedside, checking over at the clock on the nightstand. It read 5:15 AM. Silence looms over the room like a thick film.

“Undyne, if I told you something, would you trust me?”

Undyne chuckles and sits down next to me. “You bet your ass I would. What’s on your mind?”

I lower my head, looking at the ground as silence passes. Can I even formulate the words to be able to say this to her? Can I even tell her?

First it’s a croak, and then a whisper that flows from my lips. “I don’t know what’s going on with me anymore.”

Undyne sighs, her face turning even grimmer.

“I know you’re going through a lot, and sometimes you can feel like that-”

“No, Undyne, I really do mean it. I just… I just don’t feel the same anymore. I don’t feel like _me_. There’s something inside of me, something that I just can’t shake off. And it _lingers_. There’s something. Something that just doesn’t seem right. There’s something always there, as if standing right next to me. It’s next to me, it’s in my head. It’s in my _dreams_.”

“...Is that why you’re up this early?”

“Yeah.”

“Well, I mean… What happened?”

“It spoke to me.”

“... _It_ spoke to you?”

“Yeah. I’d rather not say what it said, though. Not right now.”

“Alright. I just want you to know, though. Whenever you need to talk to someone… Frisk-”

She takes hold on my chin lightly, shifting my gaze from the floor to her. She lets go of my chin, and she gives me a reassuring smile. “Whenever you need to talk to someone, or you just need someone there for you… I want you to know I’m _going to be here for you_. I trust you to the end. We’re going to figure out what all of this is.”

For the first time in a while, it’s easy to crack a smile. She pats my leg and walks over to the door. 

“Another thing, Frisk?”

“Yeah?”

“...You knew what was happening when the boy got hurt, didn’t you?”

“...Yes.”

“But… But it wasn’t you, was it? ...It was that... thing.”

“...Yes.”

Undyne nods, turning her face in my direction. 

“We’re going to take care of it. So don’t worry, okay? We’ll fix you right up, punk.”  
I smile towards her and nod. With that, she closes the door. The silence washes over once more.

\-----------------------------------

I didn’t end up coming out of the room that morning. Just being in the same room as Alphys and Sans was unsettling enough for me to stay in my room. Later though, around 11 or so, Undyne came upstairs and talked me into coming downstairs with her to eat breakfast. As I walked downstairs, all I could do was stare at the floorboards beneath me. I didn’t want to see them looking at me. I didn’t want to see _them_ right now. Every time I see them, my heart simply sinks in my chest. I stayed quiet throughout the entire meal as everyone else conversed at the table. Every now and then I would notice one of them staring at me, but as I would lift my eyes up from the table they would look away. One pair of eyes did lock with me during the breakfast, though. Sans’ eyes. We stayed there for a moment, looking at each other. He looked... dull. There was no other way to put it. The way his eyes had dimmed down; the way he didn’t really seem to smile that much anymore. All he gives me is a dead expression as I look away from him. 

“Frisk!”

I snap my head over to the sound, and I see it’s Undyne who’s calling for me. 

“Alphys was trying to say something to you.”

I look over towards Alphys, and she gives an annoyed sigh. 

“What I was saying was: you need to come with me this morning. I need to s-start tests on your SOUL. You know, the _reason you’re here._ ”

My heart sinks at the way she speaks to me, and even Undyne gives her a look. Alphys notices and she frowns, looking away from both of us. She gets up from her chair and starts grabbing her bags.

“Get ready. We’re leaving soon.”

I get up from the table without saying a word, pushing in my chair. The stairs beneath me creak as I make my way up to get ready for the day. It doesn’t take long at all for me to take a shower, I practically jumped in and jumped out. I tried balancing myself between drying my hair with a towel, brushing my teeth and getting clothes on all at the same time. Each and every move I made, though, my chest felt heavier. Like I was carrying some dead weight that I couldn’t seem to get rid of. No matter how much I tried to do something, or how fast, it didn’t really seem to matter. My body felt like it was slowly withering from the inside. Dead-tired, I stagger down the stairs, wishing that I was truly ready for the day.

\-----------------------------------------

Alphys and I got into her car near the house and set off for the hospital. The entire time we drove it was silent, and I felt like I was going to hurl from all the anxiety. It made me extremely uncomfortable, knowing that Alphys was going to be experimenting on me. I had no idea what tests she was even going to do. I tried my best to calm down, looking out the window and taking deep breaths to stop myself from feeling so sick. The scenery was even gloomy. It was a sad, rainy day. It’s still only the beginning of February, kind of, and everything still seemed so dead. I’m surprised the rain isn’t snow, actually. 

We arrived at the hospital fairly quickly. The entire building seemed to be hung in my aura of melancholy. I silently got out of the car as Alphys was leaving for the building. I tried hurrying up to her, but it didn’t seem to matter as we were stopped by the front desk.

“Hello, Dr. Alphys. It’s good to see you again,” chirps the receptionist. 

“Hello, I’m clocking in today and requesting an operating theatre. Afterwards I will be clocking back o-out. Okay?”

“Not a problem. Here are the papers for the report.”

Alphys made me wait in the reception hall as she filled out all of the papers. It took a while, and the room started to get stuffy. I was getting more and more anxious about the operation. What was going to happen during it? What was she even really trying to study? I know she said that she wanted to see how my SOUL was doing, and she wanted to see how she could help it, but at this point I’m not so sure if she would want to do that for me. And, I know Alphys has gotten better… but, what about her past patients from the Underground? Their determination? I don’t think she has worked with it since…

“Frisk, come on, the table’s ready.”

I notice Alphys handing papers back to the receptionist, and she turns around to see if I’ve been listening to her. I nod, get up from my seat, and follow her down a series of hallways till we get to the room.

The place seemed… too clean. Too… nothing. Then again, I never really did like hospitals. Like the one time I broke my arm and Toriel started crying to the doctor when we reached the hospital. I hated seeing her cry. I hated how calm the doctor was; he was albeit calm as apathetic. I hated how “pristine” the curtains were, or the walls. It seemed _too_ anything. Too fake, to me.

“Okay, just lay on the table and I can get started on looking at this thing. I’m going to need to prod a bit, but it’s not like I can give you any medicine for this. We need to see your weak spots.” 

My face and hands grow cold as she finishes. “Weak spots?”

I lay on the table and she starts filling out papers, I’m assuming to record the process. “Yes, weak spots. The process of mending a SOUL is more than mere ‘mending’, you know.”

She finishes her papers for the moment, and stands up from her chair. My SOUL is pulled from my chest and she begins examining it. Trying to calm myself down, I decide to prod more at the information. “Well, what is it like then?”

Alphys spends her time closely looking at the chipping of my SOUL, and starts lightly touching it to turn it ways where she can see the wounds clearer. “Well the SOUL, a-although it chips, is mended as if by stitching. Almost. The foreign piece s-stays there, almost barely attached to the SOUL. Now what makes this different from stitching, and why we call it mending, is because even though the piece is barely attached at first and, a-as if pressed to the original SOUL, it mends very quickly to the SOUL. It’s simply unlike any stitching there is, and it practically melts into the original SOUL. When stitching might take months, the mending might take mere seconds to minutes. It’s quite r-remarkable…”

“Ow! What is that?” I worried. 

“Don’t worry. I’m just touching ends of your SOUL. I think I’ve found where the weakest parts a-are, and I think I might know now where we’ll need to mend. That is, if we can find someone who will give part of their SOUL as a donor. So far we’ve s-till been out of luck.”

“Where do you guys mend it?”

“We usually mend it where the weak s-spots are. It’s where the SOUL needs the most attention, s-so. Then it spreads out through the rest of the SOUL, and then-”

Alphys’ phone went off, and she stopped prodding to check it. She answered her phone, the speaker immediately raring with volume. 

“Papyrus, wha- what’s wrong?” cried Alphys.

I could hear more yelling on the phone, and Alphys started tearing up. I let my SOUL slowly sink back in my chest, the pain from earlier making my body sore. I got off of the table and made my way towards Alphys.

“Alphys, what’s wrong? What’s going on?”  
Alphys looks at me with pure terror. Tears start to leak down her golden scales as she turns her head away from me slightly. 

 

“I’m leaving right now, Papyrus. We’ll be down there. I promise.”

Alphys grabs her keys and phone, leaving behind all the rest of her papers. She grabs my hand and tugs me along.

“Alphys, you gotta tell me what’s going on. What was wrong with Papyrus?” I shudder. I feel like I’m going to have another panic attack any second now. 

“We need to leave. Now.”

 

\-----------------------------------------------------

I jump into the car along with Alphys, and she drives as fast as ever down the roads of the city. I try and close my eyes to calm down, the mere pace of her driving begins to set me on edge. What was Papyrus freaking out so much about? It couldn’t have been with Mettaton, it couldn’t have been…

I open my eyes, and we’ve already gone miles and miles away from the hospital. The road we’re on, it’s familiar…

“Alphys, why are we on this road-”

“Frisk, just be _quiet!_ _I C-CANNOT DEAL WITH YOU RIGHT-_ ”

Alphys stops her sentence short, breaking into tears as she presses the pedal down further. We make it to Toriel’s school building, a building I’ve seen since some of my youngest years… Burning to pieces.

I can’t help but shriek at the site, and Alphys immediately stops the car for us to get out. I throw up my door and rush onto the site, the waft of warmth rushing over me from the flames. I’m crying and my heart is racing and I can’t stop screaming and I can’t-

“Frisk! Frisk get over here! _Don’t go into the school!_ ”

I glance over for a mere moment, seeing the group all there. Sans, Papyrus, Undyne, Mettaton, Asgore, and Alphys running towards them. All but Toriel.  
I ignore their calls and pleas, and I rush forward even faster towards the school. Tears stream from my eyes as I call for my mom. All I can hear is the cracking of wood and breaking of glass as I run down the long garden. I’m almost there when I feel something grab my arm, yanking me back. 

“Frisk, you can’t go into the building! It’s all gonna go!” 

I look into Sans’ eyes, but I can’t feel anything. I can’t move anymore, I can only see from a looking glass…

_No, no no no! Not this again! Please!_

I’m shrieking from the inside, but nothing escapes my mouth. The only thing that leaves my body are my tears, coursing my face.

“I-I’m…”

_I try to stop myself from speaking, I’m begging it to stop…_

“Not.”

_No, please, I am…I **AM!**_

“Frisk.”

My arms move instinctively, practically grabbing Sans and throwing him onto the concrete slabs of the school. I’m losing my vision, I can barely keep up with my own body, but I need to keep going. I need to see my mom…

The thing that haunts me lurks away, and I fall to the ground crying. I pull myself together quickly, and throw myself into the doors of the school. Smoke pounds around me, and I use part of my shirt to guard my nose and mouth to breathe somewhat. I’m looking for any indication where she could be, running down hallways to find Toriel. Monsters… Children’s bodies pile amongst the classrooms and libraries, hallways and offices. Toriel… My mother… Where is she? Dammit, where is-

I walk into one of the classrooms, noticing the fur immediately. This classroom was no exception to burnt bodies, the smell of melting flesh, fur and scales overpowering. A dozen arms don her waist, as if her embrace was their very protection from the flames. I stagger to her, my tears blinding my way. I drag Toriel into the hallway, her body entirely motionless. 

I hold her in my arms, my shrieking beginning again. I rock her back and forth, petting her fur as my tears coat it. This can’t be the end, this can’t be…  
“Mommy… please don’t g-go… Please don’t leave me…”

Her eyes are wide open, but there is no dilation. There is no motion. There is no breathing.

I clutch her more, my breathing staggering from my tears and the smoke.

“Mommy please, I miss you so m-m-uch… so, so much a-a… already, dammit! Please!” I scream my lungs out. Black begins to cloud my vision. My clutch on my mother begins to loosen. I can’t breathe.

“Maybe it won’t be so bad, to leave with you…”

I lay my head on Toriel’s chest, feeling the smoke begin to overtake my lungs. I speak anyway.

“You remember the time… when we were at the flower shop mom? You remember that? I visited it the other day… It was so beautiful. Just like you… You were always so beautiful to me, mom... I just… I asked you to listen to me mom,” I jerk, tears swelling again, “I asked you to listen, I knew those men were bad, I wish you would have listened…”

I can hear things from inside, but they sound so far away… My vision darkens more and more, my lungs hurt so much…

“Oh no, punk. You’re not leaving us. I made you a promise, remember!?”

I feel a hard slap to the face and I jolt up, Undyne carrying me out the building. She tries to give me a smile, but I see her sad eyes. I see the tears streaming down her cheeks and gills.

“Well, don’t you?”

I nod. “Yes, I do.”

“That’s right. I said we’d fix you up.”

Undyne rushes out of the building, making it to the back gardens. I cough harshly in the air, my lungs plagued by black smoke. Undyne makes her way around the building, her body racking in coughs as well. Once we make it around to the front, Undyne and I are met by an ambulance that takes us inside. They sit us down and give us something called a bronchodilator, something they said would help with the passaging of air through our lungs. We sit there for a while, coughing, wishing it would go away.

Alphys rushes up to Undyne, tears down her face. She hits Undyne’s arm when she gets to the ambulance, screeching. “Why did you go inside? Why!”

Undyne gives her a questioning look, and retaliates. “Why? Because Frisk was in there! What did you think I was supposed to do? Just leave her there?”

“That’s not your problem!” Alphys turns to me, pointing at me, “It was _your_ decision to go in there. Just because you two are apparently all best buddy-buddy now does not mean that gives you the right to just expect my wife to come for your safety whenever you think there’s some crisis going on with you!”

“That is enough!” barks Undyne. She gets up from her seat, hacking up and spitting before addressing Alphys. “I don’t know what is your problem with Frisk, but she is our _friend_. And you have no right to demean what’s going on with Frisk-”

“Oh please, not you! You actually buy that?” Alphys narrows her eyes, glaring at Undyne. “What’s next. Haunted houses? Napstablook is actually a demon spirit?”

Undyne’s face turns into one of rage, and she looks away with Alphys as she laughs. 

“You know Alphys, I think you should leave right now. I think you should really think about what you just said. And I want you to leave.”

Alphys’ face turns cold, one of worry. She begins to try and say something, but turns around and walks away to the others. Undyne huffs and starts coughing more along with me.

“Are you feeling any better, Frisk?”

“Yeah. I’m… really sorry. About all of it. The school, you and Alphys…”

“Don’t apologise. I honestly don’t know what’s wrong with Alphys and Sans. They’ve been treating you like shit and I don’t like it. As for the school… I know why you went, Frisk. I would have went in too.”

I shift my face away from her, trying not to cry. Something in my heart breaks, almost like a little twig.

“My mom…”

Undyne wraps an arm around me, pulling me closer. I begin to cry on her shoulder, staring at the ground.

“I know it’d be bullshit to tell you it’s going to be okay. We’re going to do something about it though, Frisk. I promise.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I legitimately cried writing the end. I am at Asgore-levels of soppy right now. This is who writes your chapters. Are you sure you are okay with this??? Do you like them?? Dang, I hope so. I SACRIFICED so much writing these scenes. Also pro-tip: hospital scenes are hard af to plan, so I suggest just coming up with it like wayyyy beforehand. That hospital scene is the literal reason for my hiatus. I really hope you like them though. 
> 
> -Rhodi


	14. Chapter 14

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Holy heck it feels amazing to get this out to you guys. I have had so much stuff to deal with, you would not believe. Honestly there is so much that I don't even want to explain it; it's honestly just because of a lot of work I'm getting from this one AP class. But gosh I am so happy to get this chapter out! I hope you guys like it; and I will see you in the next chapter! Hopefully sooner than this one took to crank out.
> 
> -"Rhodi" Rachel

It’s been two weeks since the fire.

I can’t go back to the place; not right now. I don’t know if I ever will be able to. Maybe some day. Maybe not.

I can’t stop thinking about the burning bodies; the way their melted and charred flesh hung from their poor, small corpses. The way my mother’s fur smelled like burnt ash as I laid there next to her. It makes me so sick. Undyne tries to see how I’m doing, but I can barely think up anything to say. My shock is over; now I’m stuck in something I can’t describe. Like I’m in a sea that keeps pulling me deeper and deeper to the bottom, my own abyss. 

Undyne kept reassuring me how we would find the people who caused the fire, but at this point I can’t find the motivation to care. I can’t find the strength to want to find them. What they did is done; forever sealed in bittersweet fate. Those kids are dead. Toriel is dead. Finding them is of no purpose; her and I both know they’re going to get away with it. At the very best they will be caught and they will get a lighter sentence, mainly because it was a hate crime. Monsters here still aren’t fully protected by the police or the government; they have to look out for themselves. Like their own little mafia. 

“You can get up from the table now.”

I get up from the small table in the hospital room. Alphys had scheduled another appointment to test and see what was going on with my SOUL. I refused to go at first, but Undyne convinced me to.

“Okay, so from what I have noticed, there isn’t anything particularly wrong with your SOUL. At least internally.”

I look up at Alphys with a confused look. There wasn’t anything wrong with my soul? 

I stammer for a moment, trying to find words I could not think of. “But, what about-”

Alphys lets out a heavy sigh, cocking her hip to the side. “Look, Frisk. There’s nothing wrong, okay? And there’s nothing that leads to these ‘episodes’ that you say that you’re having.”

Alphys walks closer to me, looking down on me. 

“You know, Frisk, I’m just going to be real honest.”

“I know something’s wrong with you. I know that there isn’t anything wrong with your SOUL, either. Besides all the cracks and chips. What I _do_ know is that there is something wrong with you.”

Tears well in my eyes, and I force myself to look up at her. All I can feel is pure rage running through me; rage like a ticking time bomb.

“What I think you have, that I know you don’t think you have, is something called schizophrenia. Do you know what that is, Frisk?”

I grit my teeth and turn my head from her. “Yes Alphys, _I know what it is._ ”

Alphys gives me a quizzical look and starts yelling. “Jesus, Frisk, I don’t know why the hell you are so persistent on this whole other idea you’ve made! It’s. _Not. Real._ ”

Jolting from where I was sitting on the table, I get in her face and begin yelling. “How the hell would _you_ know, Alphys! How would you know _anything_ about me!”

“Oh, I don’t know Frisk, it’s not like I _helped you get through the Underground_ or anything! It’s not like we didn’t know each other until this very minute!”

“Well apparently you don’t, Alphys! Apparently you can’t even trust me!”

“Frisk you are _sick_. There is something else to this! You are acting _crazy!_ ”

“Maybe I’m not, Alphys!” I screech.

Alphys stops in her tracks, looking at me with bewilderment. I can’t help but start screaming more at her.

“Maybe I’m not crazy, Alphys! Maybe what I’m seeing is real! You have just all of a sudden decided to turn around and leave my side for once, and then you think it’s best to persuade Sans too! One minute he completely understands me and now it’s like it’s a pain for him to look me in the face! What is _wrong_ with you, Alphys!? What got into you!-”

Alphys smacks me across the face and barks at me, “ _That is enough! I am sick of this!_ You are such a liar… what is this all for, Frisk? Doing this to us? Even after Toriel died, you’re still keeping this up!”

“Don’t you _DARE_ bring up my mother-”

“Frisk, _get over yourself!_ ”

Alphys grabs her bags in a hurry, a look of pure resent on her face.

“Get in the car. We’re leaving right now.”

\--------------------------------------

I never knew I could ever relate to the term “deafening silence” as well as I did in that car ride. It seemed longer than any other, and I was honestly scared. I couldn’t comprehend anything that was happening, and even though I was in a silent yet doleful car ride, I was on the verge of having a panic attack. Everything was moving too quickly, like a car going down the interstate. 

We get out of the car, Alphys seemingly in a rush as she slams the door shut, racing to the front door of the house. I follow her quickly, fearful of the events to come next. She flings the door open, slamming her purse on the couch as we make our way to the living room. Undyne sits idly on one of the chairs in the living room, sipping coffee and reading something on her phone. She lifts an eyebrow in question due to the random, immediate aggression. 

“Frisk is packing her things up and leaving. _Today._ ”

Undyne slams her cup down, getting up from her seat. “What the fuck, Alphys?”

“What do you mean!?”

I’m frozen in place for a moment before running straight up to my room. I can still hear the shouts bombarding the living room downstairs, and as I start frantically packing my things I begin to cry. 

_I’m worthless. I’m not worth anyone’s time. There’s something wrong with me._

_**There is something wrong with you, sweetie.** _

The things I try and pack end up falling out of my hands, despite my efforts. I wrap my arms around my legs, bringing them up to my chest.

“Undyne, she’s _crazy!_ She’s practically become a pathological liar!” I heard each of them screaming from downstairs.

“How can you say that, Alphys!? You do remember how we even _got_ here, right!”

“Well I guess people can change, can’t they?”

“I couldn’t even find any data on her, Undyne. Her SOUL’s cracked, that’s it. And it’s not like we’re going to be able to fix it any time soon!”

_I’ve ruined all their lives so far. Sans will never speak to me. Alphys practically wishes I was dead. I’m the reason Alphys and Undyne are fighting as of recent. Toriel- mom… is dead._

_I can’t even end things right. I couldn’t even die from jumping off Mount Ebott._

_**And see, Frisk, look where that got you… How about you try it again?** _

_Get out of my head… ___

__I begin packing once more, trying to hold in my tears along the way. I can still hear the shouts downstairs, and I can hear clamouring all around. I finish packing up my suitcase and I walk down the stairs, waiting for confrontation._ _

__Alphys sees me standing next to the stairs, bag in hand. She rushes over to me, a crazed look on her face._ _

__“Do you see what you’re doing! It’s all _your fault_ this is happening! You’re either a l-liar or you’re just _sick!_ ” Alphys cries, tears running down her face bit by bit._ _

__My face scrunches and I tilt my head downwards as I begin to cry, “W-when will you realise Alphys… that _I’m not lying!_ ” _ _

__My throat hurt from screaming at the end, and Alphys fell silent with a look of disbelief on her face._ _

__“ _I really hope you’re happy, Frisk._ Or just delusional.” _ _

__Undyne comes from behind Alphys and grabs my hand guiding me to the door. She opens the door and begins walking out with me before turning around to look at Alphys._ _

__“I really hope _you’re_ happy, Alphys.”_ _

__Undyne slams the front door, still keeping a hold on my hand. We walk over to the car, and after placing my bag in the back I get in the passenger seat. I look over to see what looks like Undyne laughing, but they quickly turn into small sobs._ _

__“Undyne, I’m so sorry.” my tears swelling._ _

__“No, Frisk, do _not_ say you’re sorry for something that Alphys is doing. I can’t believe her…”_ _

__There was a long silence in the car. It hurt to much to look at Undyne and her tear-stricken face, so I looked down at the floor of the car. We sat there for a few minutes, until it finally came to me the realisation of the moment._ _

__“Undyne… W-where am I going?” I croaked._ _

__Undyne looked at me with solemn. She knew why I was asking her the question. Toriel can’t take me back; she’s dead._ _

__I cup my face, crying._ _

__I never got to have closure with my mother. She died with us having a terrible fight, at our lowest point as a family. I never got to tell her that I love her, I never got there to save her in time. I never even knew; all because I was just gone. And now when I need her the most, all it is is a testament to how I never got to fix things._ _

__“I think I know exactly where we’ll go.” I looked over to see Undyne wiping her tears, a small smile painting her face._ _

__\----------------------------------------------------_ _

__The car ride seemed sort of long; like I was in a quasi-limbo. I trusted Undyne and where she’d take me, though._ _

__I didn’t really know what to say to Undyne, so it was completely silent in the car. How could I say anything to Undyne after the fiasco that took place before we left? I know Undyne told me not to be sorry, but I can’t help it._ _

__“...I don’t think you should stick up for me anymore, Undyne.” I turn my face away from her, a doleful sigh leaving my body._ _

__“Frisk, what are you talking about?” Undyne grimaced._ _

__“I’m tired of ruining things for everyone!” I cried, looking at her. Undyne’s eyes had widened, but did not retort._ _

__“I’m tired of ruining things for everyone. Yeah, I was able to get Monsters out of the Underground, but I couldn’t get everyone. It’s not like Asriel’s here.”_ _

__Silence._ _

__“It’s not like Toriel is here, either. If I had taken better care of watching after the school and her, she wouldn’t be dead. And neither would be any of those children. Think about how heartbroken their families were.”_ _

__Silence._ _

__“And now that Monsters are out, there's complete total racism, and hatred and pain. The nation’s officials have even made the excuse that I wasn’t apparently old enough to be the representative. I’m powerless. I can’t help you guys at all, while Humans are getting away with whatever they want.”_ _

__Silence._ _

__“And now, I’m practically ruining your and Alphys’ marriage, by the looks of it.”_ _

__Tears were streaming down my face, and I was so caught up in wallowing that I hadn’t realized the car had stopped._ _

__“Kid, look at me.”_ _

__I lifted my head a little, though I didn’t get a clear picture of Undyne because of my tears._ _

__“None of those things were your fault. None of them. Especially with me and Alphys. Frisk, you are such a great person and friend and if she’s not going to believe you then so be it. You’re not the fault we keep fighting. We keep fighting because of the way that _she_ is treating you.”_ _

__“And Frisk, Toriel’s dead… but it’s not your fault. It never has been, it never will be. And that’s the same for Asriel. Everybody dies in the end, Frisk… Even… if we don’t want them to, you know?” Undyne was tearing up now, her voice cracking._ _

__“But even so, none of that was your fault. Asriel died to let us start a new life. We should live it for him. Toriel died because of sick bastards, but that doesn’t mean we stop fighting. That doesn’t mean we just ‘call it a day and go home’. We have to keep fighting _for them_. Otherwise they would have just died in vain.”_ _

__I sobbed harder, reaching over the center console to hug her._ _

__“I just… I just never got… the chance to say goodbye to her… and tell her I love her!” I cried into her shoulder, bawling my lungs out._ _

__“I know Frisk, I know.” She whispered, hugging me. I thought I felt something wet hit my shirt._ _

__We let go of the hug, and Undyne gestured to the house it front of us. I didn’t even realize it was there all this time we had stopped, and so I turned to look at her in question._ _

__“Welcome home.”_ _

__Realization hit me. I had been here before!_ _

__“So I’m going to be staying at Asgore’s?”_ _

__“Yep; well I mean, if you want to that is. I can always drop you off over at Mettaton’s place. Wherever you’d like.”_ _

__I smiled at her, wiping my tears. “No, this is fine.”_ _

__We slowly get out of the car, “getting ourselves together”, so to speak. I grab my bag out of the car, and we make our way up to Asgore’s front door._ _

__It’s a beautiful and cozy house. It’s a small, brick house. Vines crept the windows to form a natural aesthetic, with gardens of flowers brimming the yard. A small pebble walkway is our guide to the front door; a standard door, however what made it pop was its tinted, bumblebee yellow color._ _

__Undyne knocks on the door, and I clutch the bag tightly. I’m scared; I don’t know why. This creeping feeling lurks in my heart and in my stomach, but it’s almost as if I know it’s not from this. It’s from something else._ _

__Asgore opens the door, and a smile gleams when he recognizes who it is knocking._ _

__“Hello, hello! Please come in!”_ _

__Undyne and I walk into his welcoming house, a warm embrace from the atmosphere washing over me. I walk into the living room of the house and place my bag next to one of the couches. The living room was a small, cozy space; the walls were dressed in a rustic orange, while the floors were made of mahogany. A couch, a loveseat, and a small chair encircled the focal point of the room where a television sat on a stand. There was a specially made rug that lay in the middle; the rug was crafted by Toriel when they had first moved out of the Underground. It was made for Asgore’s 50th birthday; he cherished it ever since. It was a large rug with a golden border, and flowers that filled the middle._ _

__“So, what brings you two here? Should I make some tea?” Asgore smiles._ _

__“Sure, Asgore. Do you mind if I get mine in a thermos, though? I’ll give it back next time I see you, it’s just that I should be going soon… There was something that we needed to ask you, actually.” Undyne sulked. I walked over to Undyne, and she draped her arm over my shoulder._ _

__Worry painted over Asgore’s face as he went into the kitchen, grabbing his teapot. “What’s wrong, Undyne?”_ _

__“Well, I was wondering if you could take Frisk in for a while. Alphys wants me to get her out of the house for no damn reason. I can’t take Frisk to Sans’, and well… you know. Obviously the only other people I’d take her to first would be either you or Papyrus and Mettaton.”_ _

__“That’s completely fine! There’s a reason why I have a guest room,” Asgore giggled. “I love it when Frisk stays over. How about it, Frisk? Just like old times! Sitting on the couch, drinking tea and binging on snacks, watching our favourite movies!”_ _

__I smiled, “That sounds great.”_ _

__Asgore was now in the middle of brewing the tea, grabbing the thermos Undyne had asked for. While they began to talk more, I went back into the living room to grab my bag and head into the guest room. The room was simple, and branched off right from the living room. A full sized wooden bed with a floral comforter was accompanied by a similar looking nightstand and dresser. There was a closet across the room, from the bed. A lamp stood on the nightstand, it’s lampshade was woven with prints of flowers, cute suns, and the like. I took my bag and I started placing what little things I had in the dresser and closet. The frown that grew on my face was immense, and hauntingly unexplainable. It seemed as if nothing, and yet everything, made me want to frown._ _

__After organizing everything and placing my now empty bag in the closet, I went back into the kitchen where Asgore was just finishing brewing his tea. He got out a tray, and put some teacups on it accompanied by a small pot of sugar cubes._ _

__“Undyne, you should stay the night!” insisted Asgore._ _

__“I don’t know,” Undyne contemplated._ _

__“Maybe you should, Undyne,” I said. Asgore took the tray and went into the living room adjacent from us, and I gave her a frown._ _

__“It’s not like what you’ll be going back to at the moment will be all that great.”_ _

__Undyne sighed. “I guess; but punk, I gotta go back at some point. And it’s not like it will be amazing when I get back, even if I stayed here for a night.”  
It was silent for a moment; Undyne stared at the ground in a contemplated state as I watched her._ _

__“I guess I could spend the night. It probably is for the best.”_ _

__Undyne grabbed the thermos Asgore had previously pulled from the cabinet and put it back in its original place._ _

__“Hey, Asgore!” Undyne yelled from the kitchen, “I’ve decided to spend the night. Is that alright with you?”_ _

__“Of course it is!” replied Asgore,”I have plenty of blankets and pillows to spare.”_ _

__Undyne and I left the kitchen to head into the living room, where Asgore was popping a movie into his DVD player. He sat in his chair, reaching for his tea tray that set on the coffee table. Undyne and I both sat on the couch, directly across from the television._ _

__“So what movie are we watching?” Undyne asked._ _

__“It’s a comedy,” Asgore paused. “I thought that we all might need a few laughs.”_ _

__The comment made my heart sink just a little bit. His accurate, but piercing comment struck something in me. He knew what we were all going through, and deep down he was going through the same thing. No matter how much tea he made for us, no matter many smiles he put up when he asked us if we wanted some. He knew how we were feeling- because he was feeling the same thing. He just maybe didn’t want us to know._ _

__The movie was very funny, in the end. It certainly got us to laugh. Somehow, we were all able to take our minds off the sudden havoc that wrecked our lives. When the movie ended, though, the feeling settled back in. Like a lingering that never really stops._ _

__“Well, I should go get those pillows and blankets for you, Undyne! It is going on 10:30, after all,” Asgore chirped. Asgore left the room to go grab Undyne what she needed, and the room fell silent._ _

__“I miss my mom, Undyne.”_ _

__“I miss her too, punk.”_ _

__I found myself staring at the floor, in somewhat of a daze. It was dark in the living room, so I couldn’t tell when Asgore had walked back into the room. His voice startled me amongst the silence._ _

__“Are you two alright? You look as if you’ve had the worst day ever!” Asgore worried._ _

__My eyes did not move from the floor as I replied, “When’s the funeral going to be, Asgore?”_ _

__Silence filled the room, and I heard Asgore let out a small sigh before sitting back down in his chair._ _

__“It’s going to be Friday. So, two days from now. We couldn’t find anyone to host the funeral, so we’re having our own.”_ _

__“How come you couldn’t find anyone?” questioned Undyne._ _

__“Oh, you know how it is, Undyne,” Asgore sighed. “No one will help us. These Humans, they don’t care.”_ _

__Undyne nodded. “I’m sorry.”_ _

__Asgore’s eyes grew sadder. “Don’t you say sorry now. It’s not your fault at all.”_ _

__“Where are you going to bury her, then?” I asked, my voice barely above a whisper._ _

__“Well,” Asgore paused, “we were going to bury her in her garden. I was going to bury her next to Asriel.”_ _

__I nodded. Humans couldn’t even bury my own mother. I was seething, but there was no energy in me to express it._ _

___**It makes you miserable, doesn’t it?** _ _ _

___**I know it does. Just admit it to yourself.** _ _ _

__I try to ignore the voice in my head; the voice from that being. The rage that burns within almost gravitates to it- or rather, the other way around._ _

__“Frisk, are you okay?”_ _

__Looking up from the floor finally, I see Asgore’s sad eyes peering over at me. I let out a small sigh, but I muster a smile. “I’m okay.”_ _

__“Alright dear. Well, I will see you guys in the morning. I bet it’s been a long day for you two, hasn’t it?”_ _

__Undyne and I looked over at each other for a moment before looking back at Asgore and giving a light nod._ _

__“I figured. How about some pancakes in the morning?”_ _

__“Sure, that sounds great,” I smiled._ _

__Asgore nodded and took the tea tray back into the kitchen. I saw Undyne dressing the couch for bed, and I saw this as my opportunity to ask Asgore a question I’ve had on my mind for weeks. Stepping into the kitchen quickly, I see Asgore washing the dishes._ _

__“Hey, Asgore?”_ _

__“Yes, dear?”_ _

__“Who else was a part of your family?”_ _

__There was a slight pause from Asgore. “What do you mean?”_ _

__“I mean besides Asriel, who else was there?”_ _

__Silence loomed over the kitchen as he finished washing the cups and teapot._ _

__“There was a boy. His name was Chara.”_ _

__Asgore set down the cups and rested his hands on the counter. His eyes didn’t leave the floor._ _

__“He had died… a very long time ago. He was like a son to Toriel and I. He was a human that had fallen into the Underground, much like you.”_ _

__“What happened to him?” I fretted._ _

__“He died of an illness. We couldn’t do anything for him; Asriel was there for him till the end, but…”_ _

__Silence hung in the air for a moment. I was utterly speechless. I said the only thing that one could say when hearing something like that._ _

__“I’m really sorry, Asgore.”_ _

__“It’s alright, dear. You head to bed now, okay? If you have any more questions, we’ll go over them some other time.”_ _

__“Okay. Goodnight; love you.”_ _

__“Love you too. Goodnight!”_ _

__I left the kitchen, and before walking into my room I noticed that Undyne had already passed out on the couch. She must have been exhausted after today. I decided to leave her be and just talk to her in the morning._ _

__A weight settled on me as I was finally alone and in my room. I couldn’t seem to shake it off. I also had so many more questions for Asgore that I couldn’t even ask him. If Chara was such a nice person, why is it that he is showing up in my dreams? Why is he tormenting me? _Where_ does he even _come from?_ Why is he doing all these things? So many questions swarmed my head, like dark clouds in a thunderstorm. Do the others know about Chara? Or is it just the Dreemurr’s? If he had died _that_ long ago, the others might not know of him. The only person who knows of him now is Asgore, since Toriel and Asriel are dead now. _ _

__The questions alone gave me a headache. The confusion made me sick._ _

_I just want to know why._

___**You’ll know soon enough, sweetie.** _ _ _

__\--------------------------------------------------------_ _

__I open my eyes and immediately jerk upwards from where I was apparently lying. I wasn’t in Asgore’s house anymore, but in Toriel’s garden again. My heart started to thump harder as I remembered what happened last time I had a dream of this place. I was near the end of the garden, at one of the curvatures. It looks different, however… there was an obvious change._ _

__Instead of one simple monument, there were four at each “end” of the circle. Four monuments stood tall in the garden, and as I looked towards the middle of the garden, I saw a small hole dug there. I was cautious not to go there first; as if something in my body told me not to. I went to the closest monument, the one only a few steps away from me. The monuments looked like stone flowers, like buttercups. As I looked downwards, however, my breath left my body as I read the name “Toriel Dreemurr” on a copper plaque._ _

__“What do you think? Don’t they look nice?”_ _

__I reluctantly turned around to see that being, Chara, right before me._ _

__“What do you want from me,” I snarled, rage boiling inside me._ _

__“I told you, you’ll know soon enough,” Chara replied. I felt his hand immediately grab my shoulder, yanking me towards him. His eyes, black as an abyss, stared into me with such animosity that it terrified me._ _

__“I just have to break you first!” Chara chirped, giving an unhinging smile. “But first, I have something to show you.”_ _

__Chara yanked on my shoulder, dragging me to the next plaque. My eyes teared up when I read “Asgore Dreemurr” on the copper plate._ _

__“Ooh! And this one!”_ _

__“Chara Dreemurr” imprinted the next plaque, and I looked at him with utter confusion._ _

__“Huh, so that’s what happened to me in this run.”_ _

_This… run?_

__“No matter! Come check out the next one!”_ _

__Yanking me to the last one, Chara watched me read “Asriel Dreemurr” impressed on the plaque._ _

__I didn’t know how much more of this I could take. I’m sounded by my entire family, dead._ _

__I tried leaving his grasp, but he wouldn’t budge. Tears streamed my face as I began to shriek and grab his arm, attempting to wrench his hand from me. He only grinned, and dug his nails into me as he pulled me closer to him._ _

__“But, don’t you want to see the last spot? I think it’ll have a… certain significance to you,” Chara hissed._ _

__Chara began dragging me towards the center; towards the hole in the ground._ _

__“I made this specially for you, Frisk! What’dya say?” Chara cackled._ _

__The breath had been knocked out of me by that remark. I began to panic, and dove to the ground, digging my fingers into the earth of the garden._ _

__“No! Let me go!” I shrieked, bawling._ _

__“Aww, but Frisk! I even have a nice headstone for your place, too! We can be a family…”_ _

__Chara grabbed my wrist that sunk into the ground, as well as my other one. I was turned onto my back as he dragged me closer to the hole. My heart exploded in a tsunami of fear, while tears stained my face and my legs refused to stop kicking. I felt my lungs give out when it seemed as if I was in mid-air, and then suddenly hitting the ground. Looking up at Chara from the hole he had dropped me in, he was bleeding from hollowed eyes as he gave me a stomach-churning grin and said,_ _

__“Now we all get to be together. Forever.”_ _


	15. Chapter 15

The awful scene won’t leave my mind.

I can still feel the wet dirt hitting me as he covered me with it, filling my grave.

Thinking about it makes my heart sink, my knees feeble.

A week has passed since the night, with Toriel’s funeral having to be pushed back to a later date. Asgore couldn’t handle seeing her body the first time they opened the casket, and he had a panic attack. Everyone decided it was best if we all moved the date of the funeral back, and let Asgore calm down. I don’t blame him. It was the first time he had seen her body since she died. 

The day she saw her body, he rushed into his room later that day and wouldn’t come out for the rest of it. The next day he apologised to me, saying that it was rude of him to leave like that.

I don’t blame him though.

I finish cleaning up the dishes in the sink from this morning’s breakfast. It’s only 8 AM, but it was a nice surprise when Asgore woke me up. He had made pancakes and bacon specially for me; it made me forget everything for the morning. 

I really did miss him. After we left the Underground, I started to get to know Asgore more and more, as well as the others. Though later on, I started to drift apart from some of the people I once knew so well, including Asgore. Some relationships just fell apart with people, and others had entirely different lives that they were simply busy taking care of. Mettaton and Papyrus are some of those people, and for a while, Undyne as well. 

The fact that we’re together again though fills me with gratitude. I didn’t know how much I was missing, and how much I missed them, till they came back in my life.

All of my senses suddenly come back to me when Asgore enters the kitchen. 

“Thanks for doing the dishes, Frisk! You certainly didn’t have to,” Asgore chirped.

“It’s no problem. Thank you so much for making breakfast this morning. You didn’t have to make that food, either.” 

“No problem, dear.”

I was drying my hands while Asgore was making some more tea for the morning when the phone in the living room rang. 

“Don’t worry, I’ll get it,” I said.

I rushed into the living room and picked up the telephone.

“Hello?” I asked.

“Hello, darling!” it was Mettaton on the other end, seemingly joyful.

“Hey Mettaton, how are you doing?”

“I’m doing good, darling. I actually came to talk to you about something!”

 

“I know a lot’s been going on for you all, and I am very sorry. I came to call because I know that your plate has been full, and you probably didn’t remember the date for the wedding. It’s today.”

My eyes popped out of my head.

“Oh no.”

“Don’t worry darling, it’s okay! I was assuming that after everything you would be distraught, so I came to call to remind you.”

“Mettaton I am so so sorry, I completely forgot-”

“Darling, really, it’s okay. The time is at 2 PM, okay? I’ll be expecting you!”

“Okay. I can’t wait to see you.”

“Can’t wait either. Bye-bye!”

Mettaton hung up as I stood completely still in the living room. How am I supposed to get ready for a _wedding_ by 2 PM?

“Frisk, what’s wrong?” Asgore came into the living room, worried.

I turned around to face him and chuckled, embarrassed.

“Hey… I need a dress.”

\---------------------------------------------

We left around 8:30 since it took us some time to get ready. There were places all over town, so we decided to walk around the place until I could find a dress. We had no other plans for the day, so Asgore said that he didn’t mind one bit.

We were small talking when Asgore stated, “What baffles me is that Mettaton didn’t remind you until today. That’s quite a short notice, don’t you think?”

I sighed and shrugged. “It’s okay. It’s not like I have an important role in the wedding or anything, so all I have to do is find a dress. I know it’s short notice, yeah, but it’s not like it makes things stressful. Just need to find a dress, that’s all.” 

“Yes, that’s true.”

Silence hung in the air for a little while as we walked, glimpsing through shops to see what they had in store. It was peaceful, but something clung to me like a film. Something that needed to be rid of by asking Asgore something.

“Hey, Asgore?”

“Yes?”

“Can you tell me more about Chara? What he was like. Or, anything, really.”

Asgore’s face clouded itself in reminiscence. “You’ve become quite intrigued with him, haven’t you?”

I scrunched my lips into the best possible smile I could give, however I could sense by its very nature how half-hearted it appeared. “Yeah, you could say that.”

Asgore smiled, seeming as if he were taken into a different world. “Chara was a lovely child, Frisk. He was very funny, and warm. I remember when Asriel and Chara would play pranks on each other, or the wind that was felt as they zipped around you, running from the other in a game of tag. They took great care of each other, and were closer than anyone could imagine. Chara had troubles when he first fell into the Underground, and we weren’t sure why. We assumed, after a while, as he started to open up more and become more comfortable, that maybe it was best to not talk about it or remind him of anything he did not want to remember. Toriel and I always believed that there was the good possibility that he did not fall on accident.”

My eyes widened, my mind becoming more and more attentive by the second.

“Unfortunately, though, he became sick and eventually passed away. It was extremely emotional for us. However, I don’t think anyone felt what Asriel felt the day that boy passed away.”

Asgore lifted his hand to wipe a tear away, his voice dropping even lower.

“I truly believe that it was the saddest day of Asriel’s life.”

My mind raced with questions. Who is this person? Why are these two people the same, yet so different? It pained me to be so ignorant, so unaware and dumbfounded. 

“I’m really sorry, Asgore. And I’m sorry about asking; I didn’t mean to make you cry.”

Asgore looked down at me, “No dear, it’s okay. It’s good to know that he’s remembered. Please, whenever you want to know something about our family, please always ask. I’d be glad to teach you about him.”

_It’s good to know that he’s remembered._

The words sound so sincere, yet the phrase itself is so fleeting. It comes quick, and it stings you like a bee. 

I felt a pang in my heart, utterly confused and beaten. None of this information helps me get closer in any way to knowing who this person really is, even if they are Chara. 

Are they even really Chara?

“Asgore, do you know if you have any pictures left of you guys? I was just curious about what he looked like.”

“Certainly, when we get home I can always show you. Just remind me, okay?”

“Sure thing.”

After a few more minutes of walking around, something catches Asgore’s eyes and his face lights up in delight. 

“Frisk, come look! I think this place looks promising.”

The shop that Asgore was referring to was a small place, the building squeezed in between a dry cleaners and a bakery. Even though it was small, however, it did have a sweet air to itself. Something unique, and attracting. 

Asgore and I step into the parlor, a warm and welcoming feeling wafts around us. It is indeed a small store, but their interior of warm woods and yellows sets a veil of cozy, comfortable setting. The selection is nice and abundant for the shop, and Asgore and I quickly go about the store in search for a dress. 

It doesn’t take too long for me to find a peculiar dress such as the one I held in my hands. However, despite its peculiarity, it was rather enjoyable to look at. It was a yellow cotton cocktail dress, with a bow on the neckline. Something pulled me to it, and I felt excited to try it on. 

“Asgore, what about this one?” I call out, lifting the dress up by its hanger for him to see.

Asgore looked across the room from the line of dresses he was looking at, and spotted me and my dress. He smiled brightly and held a thumbs up in response. I remembered the size that my last dress was from when we had the new year party, and so I simply looked for one in the same size. I grabbed it, and Asgore and I went to the register to pay. 

“Asgore, we still have time right?” I asked.

Asgore looked at his watch. “Yeah sweetie, don’t worry. It’s only ten o’clock. We have plenty of time.”

\----------------------------------------

Asgore and I spent the next hour just walking around town, buying little things here and there we thought were cute or interesting. It was nice spending time with Asgore; so many people in my life brought a mass tidal wave of emotions and limitations, cold barriers that inevitably separated us. Asgore was someone I could feel normal with. He made it easy to disconnect from, well, the disconnected. 

“Hey, it’s eleven. We still have time, so do you wanna grab something light to eat before we leave for the wedding?” I asked, my gaze sifting the city.

“Sure. Hey, I got a great idea! How about we head over to Muffet’s place?” 

“Oh yeah, that sounds good. It’s just a couple blocks away, right?”

“Mhm,” Asgore said, nodding.

It only took us about ten minutes to get to the bakery. We went ahead and ordered from the counter, sitting down afterwards to wait for our things to be served. We spent a little over an hour eating and chatting about little things, like commenting on the bakery and Muffet, or about other people we kept in touch with since leaving the Underground. The conversation settled down a bit as I stared out the window of the shop to peer out to the streets of the city, watching people bustle about. 

_**So Frisk, what do you think you’re going to do now?** _

I turned around to look at Asgore, my mind going blank.

“Are you okay?” Asgore wondered.

“Y-yeah,” I stammered. “Did you say something?”

“Oh, no dear. But anyway, what do you think you’re going to do now?”

My eyes widened. “What?”

“You know, the school? That’s where you sorta, well, worked… and Toriel was home-schooling you. But, well, now that it’s all gone, really…” Asgore trailed off.

“I’m not…” I sighed, defeated. “I don’t know at all Asgore. I guess I could just go ahead and get another job, but I don’t know what’s going to happen with my schooling.”

Asgore shook his head. “You don’t have to worry about a thing. I actually brought it up because I was going to tell you that I don’t mind homeschooling you until you’re done with it all.”

I gasped. “Really? I mean, Asgore, you don’t have to. It’s okay! I mean- you’ve been helping me out so much already by letting me stay at your place and everything-”

Asgore grabbed my hand and held it tight, staring at me intently.

“Frisk. We are _family_. It’s what we do for each other.”

My lips scrunched together as I looked at him, my eyes clouding their vision with tears. I knew what he meant. Just like I knew what Toriel meant, in all the times that she had strived to help me with my strifes. Tilting my head upwards and away, I tried not to cry in front of Asgore. 

“So, I hear this wedding is going to be amazing, huh?” I said, attempting a smile past my teary eyes. 

“Yeah, I hear. I was talking about it to Alphys, but she actually didn’t say too much.”

“Alphys?”  
“Yeah. I don’t know; something just seems off about her recently. I can’t quite put my finger on it. Like she is always exasperated or something.”

I shake my head and scoff. “Yeah, I wonder why.”

Asgore raises his eyebrow. “Did something happen between you two..?”

I sigh and stare into my coffee cup that rests on the table. “I’d honestly rather not talk about it, Asgore. I’m really sorry. And it’s not that I don’t trust you knowing, and I don’t want to make you think that I feel like you aren’t ‘good enough’ or something to know, but it’s just a long story and not worthy of being mentioned. Long story short? I needed her…” 

I thumb my coffee mug and spin it around slowly.

“But she wasn’t there.”

Asgore nodded his head. “I’m sorry, Frisk.”

“It’s okay.”

Except it wasn’t. Alphys was a very close friend, and she wasn’t the only one that ditched me. Sans, someone that I thought after all these years I truly loved, left me as well. All because of Alphys. The sadder thing is that there is no explanation for it; no reason as to why she is acting this way. Just a complete one-eighty.

“Can I be completely honest.”

I look up from my coffee cup. Asgore’s entire aura shifted, a once calm and caring demeanor now turned darker, colder.

“I don’t even want to go to this wedding.”

My heart sunk as he said those words. How could Asgore, of all people, be opposed to something like this?

“W-why, Asgore? It’s Mettaton and Papyrus, and Papyrus practically looks up to you like a hero. I thought you two were great friends?”

“We are- or at least, that’s how everything seems, I guess.”

“What do you mean, Asgore? They’re just trying to make a happy memory amidst all this sadness.”

“It’s more than that. What I mean is why would they _have a wedding when they know Toriel has just died_. When they know that not everything _is_ fine. When they know that not everyone can strap on a dress or a suit and pretend like everything is okay and forget that someone they loved died.”

I shut my mouth as tears started to dribble. 

I could see Asgore’s eyes grow red as they glistened, his hands bawling into fists as tears streamed down his face.

“And, you know what? I think that’s a pretty selfish way of trying to get back to normal. And I think by pretending her existence was non-existent and forgetting her- well, that’s disgusting. And disrespectful. And I would trade anything if it meant for her memory.”

Asgore tilted his head down, crying, before looking back up at me and sitting back in his seat.

“There were so many beautiful things about her, Frisk. So many beautiful memories, and traits, and places and people that just would never be the same without her. There were so many things you didn’t know, but they were all so _beautiful_. _She_ was so beautiful.”

“They’re all in denial. Every single damn one of them. Just like me.”

There was, what seemed like, a long silence at our table before Asgore spoke up once more.

“I remember the call when they told me the school was on fire. It was Papyrus; he had called telling me what was happening and I tried to get there as fast as I could. When I did get there though, it was like my body couldn’t move. I didn’t know what to do, and I just _stood_ there. Watching it burn. But then you came with Alphys. And you just, _ran_ in there. Ran without a second thought, unlike the rest of us. It was only after, I don’t know, maybe five minutes, before Undyne ran in there to make sure you were okay. She pulled you out of there, but when we saw that Toriel wasn’t with you, we just,” Asgore choked on his words,” already knew. You know?”

I lowered my head, my tears falling and staining my clothing. “I’m so sorry, Asgore.”

“It’s nothing you should be apologizing for, Frisk. None of it is your fault. It’s okay.”

I began to ball, my hands coming up to cover my face. “Y-yes it i-is.”

“W-when I ran up there, s-she was already dead. I couldn’t get there in time!”

_I’m such a failure, aren’t I?_

“Frisk, listen to me right now.”

When Asgore spoke, I lifted my head to look up at him.

“You know who’s fault it is?”

There was a silence, as if he wanted me to answer, but I shrugged my shoulders as I tried to stop crying.

“It’s the people who did that to her, and all those children. It’s the people who destroyed that school. It is _not_ your fault.”

_Then why do I always feel like it is?_

Asgore took a napkin and dried his eyes before grabbing another one and handing it to me. I took it and gave him a small smile before wiping my own as well. 

Asgore sighed and stood up. “Come on, let’s go order one last thing for Undyne. I bet she’d love it if we had a coffee and a muffin for her when we got there.”

Asgore and I ordered something for Undyne, and headed back home to get dressed. I was right about the size, and the yellow dress fit me perfectly. I didn’t have many belongings yet, since we still had to gather everything from Toriel’s house, however I did have a pair of small white heels to wear with the outfit. I didn’t have any accessories to wear along with the dress though until I walked out of my room.

Asgore was dressed up in a navy suit and black tie, with dark brown shoes to match. He was sitting on the couch, but stood up quickly with something in his hand as he saw me walk out of my room. 

“You look so great, dear. However there is one more thing that I think could definitely go with the set,” Asgore spoke with a smile.

He held his hand up to show a string of pearls, and helped me put on the necklace.

“Toriel wanted to wait to give these to you, which is why I am now. You have become such a wonderful lady, Frisk.” 

I smiled at the gesture. “Thank you.”

“It’s no problem,” Asgore replied. Fixing his tie in the mirror, he finished and added, “Now let’s go. We have a wedding to attend, don’t we?”  
\-------------------------------------

We got to the wedding relatively quickly, making it there by 1:00 PM. It took a very long time getting there; we soon realised that not only was Mettaton’s wedding was secluded but it was _absolutely gargantuan_. The venue was no simple one; no, this venue appeared to be what looked like a 17th century styled castle, with ivy hanging from its sides and a pavilion that made it look like it came straight out of a fairy tale.

“Wow,” Asgore marveled.

“Well, I guess that goes to show how much you can spend on a wedding when you’re an international sensation,” I stated.

“You betcha,” laughed Asgore.

Asgore and I drove up to the venue, and let a chauffeur take our car. We walked into the venue with the things we grabbed for Undyne, and began looking for where everyone was at.

“Frisk, is that you?”

I turned around to see Undyne in a long, strapless navy blue dress. It fit her figure perfectly, and she looked extremely stunning in it. I was even more surprised by the fact she was wearing a _dress_. I know that every girl has a feminine side, no matter how minute, but Undyne had never shown her side until now.

“Hey! How are you doing?” I ran over to her, with Asgore behind me.

“I’m doing pretty good, actually. I just left the room where Mettaton was getting ready with Alphys, so.

I nodded. “Oh, hey another thing. We got these for you, by the way.”

I handed her the coffee and muffin, and she gave off a big smile- the ones where she showed all of her teeth like one of a shark. “Thanks so much punk! And thank you too, Asgore. How have you guys been? I haven’t seen you around at all for the past two days! Did you guys just get here or something?”

“Wait, you mean everyone’s been here for _two days?_ ” I burst out, glancing at Asgore, now standing next to me.

“Yeah, everyone’s been checked in and everything. I was actually starting to worry about you guys, but I also didn’t know if it was because you wanted to avoid, well, you know who.”

I was absolutely infuriated. “No, Undyne. Mettaton literally called me _today_ telling me about all this.”

Undyne’s face contoured into a scowl. “What?”

“Yeah.” I retorted.

Asgore sighed. “I’m going outside to go and say hi to the other people that are here. I cannot wait for this day to end,” and with that, Asgore left the room.

“Is Asgore _that_ upset about this wedding happening?” asked Undyne.

My eyes widened as I nodded. “Yes. He feels extremely disrespected because of the fact that they’re basically doing all this right when Toriel’s funeral and mourning are happening. You should have seen him earlier today.”

Undyne and I found a seat together in the foyer. Everything was a bit silent for a few minutes before Undyne spoke up.

“It’s really going to be awkward at this wedding today, isn’t it.”

“Yep.”

“I can’t believe Mettaton didn’t tell you about the wedding until the very last day.”

I sighed. “I think it’s because they practically don’t want me here in the first place.”

Undyne’s eyes widen. “What do you mean? Papyrus and Mettaton love you.”

“Yeah, and so did Alphys. But you know why they didn’t tell me and Asgore until _the day of the wedding?_ I’ll tell you why, Undyne. It’s because they don’t want us here. They don’t want us and the fact that we aren’t going to pretend that everything is fine. Everything is not fine. Toriel is dead. And I get that they are trying to have a nice wedding, but Asgore told me something earlier today that is just too truthful to ignore. They are all just in denial, Undyne.”

I looked up from the ground and straight at her.

“It’s just the truth. A truth that they can’t face because they’re too cowardly to do so.”

Undyne sighed and frowned, her arm pulling me into her side for a hug. I rested my head on her shoulder as it was once again silent.

“I’m really sorry kid.”

“It’s okay.”

“It’s not okay. Every single time, it’s like nothing goes ‘okay’. Every single time, you get cheated.”

I scoffed at that. “You make it seem like I’m always the victim.”

“Well… isn’t that what’s been happening recently?”

Silence crept back in. I couldn’t answer her because I didn’t know what to say, entirely. I could have just said a simple yes, and that would have been it. But it was more complicated than that. And I think she knew that, because soon she let go of me and sat us both up.

“Come on, let’s go dancing for a little bit before the wedding starts! I hear they have a pretty good party going out on the patio right now,” she winked. 

I laughed as she took my hand and led the way.  
\--------------------------------------------

We did go dancing for a while, but sooner or later they called everyone to gather around for the wedding. I didn’t know where it was, but Undyne did. She took my hand and led me through the crowd to some seats that were to the left of the front, where Papyrus and Mettaton would be married. They weren’t too far from the back, just seats that were relatively in the middle of the rows. When we sat down and more and more seats began filling up, I noticed one of the chairs in the very front was left unattended.

“Wait, Undyne, are you supposed to be up there with the others?” I worried.

Undyne smiled and shrugged. “Yeah, but it doesn’t matter. I’d rather be sitting here with you anyway. Besides, I can’t just leave you all by yourself and ditch you.”

I smiled and rested my head on her shoulder. When I’m with Undyne, I feel so warm. Like I used to with everyone from the Underground. Now everything’s so… different. And complicated. It feels so nice to be with a friend. Or to even _have_ a friend. 

“Undyne, I don’t think you will ever realise how much you mean to me. And how grateful I am that you’re here for me, always. You really will never know.”

“I’d do it for you over and over, Frisk.”

Undyne lifted her shoulder, which caused me to lift my head and look at her.

“And I do know. I will always know; because of what you have done for me. Because of what you have done for all of us,” Undyne gestured her hand across the crowd of Monsters and Humans.

“When you brought us out of the Underground, when you proved to me that Humans are more than they seem, you brought back a piece of my soul to me that I didn’t know I had even lost. And that? You will never know how grateful I am for that. You really will never know.”

I reached over and hugged her tight, and as we were hugging someone walked in and announced that the wedding will be starting in a few minutes. We let go and sat in our seats quietly as everyone waited for the music to start and Mettaton to walk down the aisle. I looked to the front and noticed Papyrus standing proudly, with tears in his eyes already. He was in a nice tuxedo, with the lapels and bow tie being a garnet red. My breath hitched when I noticed Sans standing right next to him, staring right at me. Sans was in a normal suit and tie, all black unlike his brother’s red accents. His eyes pierced through me, though they held a soft expression. I froze, not knowing whether not I should keep this contact or look away. However, I lucked out as the music began to play and everyone looked to see Mettaton at the entrance way. 

Everyone stood up as Mettaton walked down the aisle. Mettaton was dressed in a pure white, mermaid wedding dress with a veil that was so long it left a trail on the ground. Mettaton had small, raspberry pink flowers wrapped into the band of her veil, almost looking like a rose-red the color was so deep and vivid. Mettaton’s hair was held into a nice bun, and they looked breathtaking. As Mettaton walked down the aisle, I could see Papyrus hold his hand up to his face as he cried. When Mettaton did reach the aisle, they grabbed Papyrus’ hand and smiled brightly at him. The wedding proceeded, which was rather long. However by the end, the two held each other tight and sealed the wedding with a kiss, which led the crowd to cheer frantically in a congratulatory moment. The two walk down the aisle, arm in arm, and Undyne and I leave with the rest of the crowd into the reception room.  
\-------------------------------------------  
“Smile wide!”

Undyne, Asgore and I had each other arm in arm as the photographer took a picture of us before heading to the next table. We all sat back down, and began eating the food that was recently set out in front of us. 

“So where have you been?” I asked, looking at Asgore.

“I was with Alphys for a little bit, and I made sure I said hi to some of the other Monsters here. It was nice to catch up on how most of them are doing. A lot of them gave their condolences to you and me about Toriel, too, so.”

I nodded and began looking around the room. I knew all of these people, but barely. Maybe from an interaction or two, but that was about it. Suddenly, this sinking feeling began creeping up on me- and I didn’t know what it was coming from. I tried to brush it away, but it kept growing at a slow pace. 

In the distance, I could hear the MC announcing the newly wed’s dance and throwing of the bouquet. Everything slowly began to spin around me, and disconnect. I tried to grip the table, as if trying to ground myself from it, but it was no use. Suddenly, I could see people begin to get up and dance as well out of my hazy vision.

“I-I’m going to head to the bathroom, okay?” I stammered, trying to get up as steadily as possible.

“Yeah,” said Undyne, worried. “Hey, are you okay?”

“Yes, yes,” I quickly lied. “I think I just have a stomach ache is all. It’s hurting a bit, but please don’t worry. Okay?”

“Okay,” replied Undyne. “Well, Asgore and I are going to go dance a bit. So we’ll be here okay?”

“Alright,” I said as I turned to leave the room.

It took all of my strength to stay composed as I left the room. As soon as I knew no one could see me, I hit the wall as it seemed all my strength left me. My legs were incredibly wobbly as I attempted to make it to the restroom where no one could see me like this, and I even fell down a few times trying to get there. My entire body was aching, and my head was killing me. It was more than a headache, though; it didn’t even feel like a headache. Sometime during this, my body perspired a cold sweat, and I gripped the doorknob of the bathroom as I had made it down the hall.

I thanked whatever god there was that it was a single-person bathroom. I locked the door behind me as quickly as I could, and I hit the ground with a thud. Everything in me was burning, and sinking, and fleeting. I could feel everything and nothing at the same time. I felt so empty and scarred.

“Why,” I cried aloud. Everything seemed to sear my skin except the cool tile of the bathroom.

_**Why won’t you just give in already?** _

I gritted my teeth as I tried to bear the pain, but my tears that stained my cheeks told the tale differently. I could barely feel my body start to convulse as I grew numb, and distant from even my physical form. My mind and sight grew darker and darker, seemingly letting go of what was around me.

“Frisk?” I heard someone yell, but it was muffled. It sounded familiar…

“Frisk?”

“Yes…?” I whispered. 

_Is this real?_

The world went black before I could figure out who the person was.  
\------------------------------------------

I woke up with that same, cold sweat running down my back and forehead.

Looking around the room, I notice that I was propped up against the wall- and the last thing I remembered was going unconscious on the floor.

And a voice.

I get up and jiggle the doorknob, realising that it’s been unlocked. Someone had been in here.

_How long was I out for?_

I left the bathroom as soon as possible, walking into the reception hall to see people were still dancing and having a good time.

_Okay, so at least I wasn’t out for that long._

I look out into the crowd for Undyne, only to feel someone’s arm wrap around me.

“Frisk! It’s so good to see you!”

I turn my head to see Mettaton was the one who grabbed me, and Papyrus was standing right behind them. 

“Oh, hey guys. Congratulations on getting married,” I chatted, somewhat forcing a smile.

“Thank you so much, darling. I’m so glad you could make it!” Mettaton beamed, pulling me into a hug between them and Papyrus.

“Frisk, we both miss you so much,” gushed Papyrus. “You should stop by sometime and spend some time with us!”

My smile widened, and not from forcing it to. “Okay, sounds like a plan.”

Mettaton excused themselves to go and greet other people and thank them for coming. Papyrus took my arm and guided me a bit away from the crowd, and his facial expression dropped in melancholy.

“Hey, Frisk, I really need to ask you something.”

I grew a bit worried. “Sure, Papyrus, you can ask me anything. You know that.”

Papyrus stammered before asking. “I was just wondering, if you knew what was going on with Sans recently?”

My eyes widened. “What?”

“Yeah, he’s been acting strange lately. He keeps telling me that everything is fine and not to worry about him, but he’s my big brother Frisk. Something’s wrong with him that I can’t _just_ tell, but I can _feel_. Something’s wrong.”

My smile faded away completely. “Papyrus, I’m sorry. But I have no idea.”

“What do you mean?” He worried. “You guys are so close!”

I began to tear up at what he said. “Not anymore Papyrus. Not anymore.”

Papyrus worried, “What do you mean? What happened? Is this why he isn’t the same?”

There was a tear that left before I quickly brushed it off my face. “He really hurt me, Papyrus. And please don’t ask what happened-” 

I covered my face as my shoulders hunched and I began to cry.

“Please don’t. I don’t want more people leaving me.”

Papyrus froze in place, with his hands hovering over me as if he didn’t know whether to back away or to hug me. 

I felt a hand grab my shoulder and bring me into them, and I quickly looked up to see it was Undyne.

“Hey ‘Pap, what’s wrong here?” she asked, worried.

“Is there something that happened with Sans and Frisk?” Papyrus asked.

Undyne sighed. “Yeah, I was there for that. Really, Papyrus, you don’t want to know.”

“Do you think that might be the reason that Sans is acting so weird?

Undyne raised her eyebrow. “ _Sans_ has been acting weird?”

“Yeah, and I don’t know why. It’s killing me,” fretted Papyrus.

“Maybe, Papyrus. I honestly don’t know if that’s it, but that might be a good guess.”

I brushed away my tears and straightened my composure. “I’m really sorry about all this, Papyrus. It’s your wedding day.”

“It’s completely fine, Frisk. Come here,” Papyrus said, motioning his arms.

I came over to him and he hugged me. “Really, Frisk. Come over anytime. We’d love to have you.”

I let go and smiled. “Thank you.”

Papyrus said goodbye as he left to accompany Mettaton, and Undyne and I went back to our table. I saw Asgore sitting there quietly, as if he was waiting for something.

When he saw us come over, he got up from his chair and push it back in.

“Dear, I’m ready to head out. How about you?” he asked.

I nodded. “Yeah, I am too.”

Asgore and I made our goodbyes to our friends, including Undyne, Papyrus, and Mettaton. As we were leaving the reception hall, though, it was as if I could feel an unsettling pair of eyes on me.  
\------------------------------------  
Asgore and I were driving through the city for a little bit before going home. We always loved doing this; just listening to the music and enjoying the scenery.

“Hey, Asgore?”

“Yep?”

“Can we go get some ice cream? I’m seriously craving for some.”

“Sure thing. Wanna just get some and drive about a little bit longer?”

“Yes! By that time it’ll be dark, and we both know how nice the city looks when it’s dark.”

“You know it.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay so I tried to make this way longer for everyone, as an apology for being an ass and taking so long to get this out. All of you are seriously the best for even taking the time out to read my work, and I'm so sorry for being on hiatus. It's just I've been going through a lot mentally, but I totally got back into the groove and wrote the last like 12 pages in two days. I love you guys so much, and I cannot wait to see you in the next chapter!
> 
> -"Rhodi" Rachel


	16. Chapter 16

The rain hits the window and the patio out back.

_Drip,_

_Drip,_

_Drip._

The air outside is muggy, but cold. There is a looming fog in the distance; ethereal wisps in the mountains.

Everything, and nothing, is silent.

A thousand thoughts run through my head, but in here- in this world…

Right now, it is ineffably mute.

I close the curtain that exposes the outside world, walking across the hall and to the front door.

Asgore stands there, suit jacket in hand.

_I’m not strong enough for this._

_**Of course you aren’t, Frisk.** _

* * *

 

 

The rain keeps dripping on the window as we drive; drive to a place we haven’t been to since. That we haven’t _physically_ been to since, anyway.

Hours it had been in the morning before the funeral, and yet I felt nothing during those hours. As if my SOUL wasn’t even cracked- because it wasn’t there anymore.

As time flies by, time also stops, however.

Or so I say to myself as I stand at my mother’s house.

The grass is damp, and the sidewalk wet as Asgore and I make our way into the house. Last minute, Asgore decided it was best to have her cremated and put into an urn. Asgore said he couldn’t see her again after the first time, and we decided to change the ceremony to fit the fact that she was cremated now.

As I walk into the living room of the house, it screams at me. It screams at me the feeling of wanting to remember. To regress back to a time when nothing was as broken. It screams at me the feeling of wanting to forget. To disappear, to drown my thoughts and thus my memories.

Could I disappear? Leave, and never turn back?

If so, then why do my feet feel as if they’re sunken in what’s now dried cement?

My heart is too heavily anchored to leave.

There’s something about it. Something about how the homeland in which our scars are made is the land in which it feels as if we cannot ever leave. Is it because we are used to it? Is it because the pain has become irrationally bittersweet? Like a drug, a drug that you’ve become addicted to?

Or maybe it’s familiarity. Maybe it’s a discomforting comfort. We have _grown_ into its earth because we have become so attached to those memories, to that place. Whatever it is, it is what is stopping me right now.

* * *

 

 

It wasn’t very long after we had made it to the house until the others began to show up, as well. It was like being in the Underground again, seeing everyone. Many of the families who had lost their children in the fire came to pay their respects to Toriel, as well as there we friends like Muffett and Grillby who came. I saw Sans, Alphys, Papyrus, and Mettaton all walk in earlier as well. Even though they are supposed to be like family to me, or at least half of them, I couldn’t handle seeing any of them and left to another place in the house. I had seen out of a glance Undyne’s face, but as I saw her as well my heart sunk and an irrefutable sigh left my body.

I decide to go upstairs into my bedroom. Everything seems in place except for the little things I had taken with me when I left. Even though this was the bedroom I called my own ever since coming out of the Underground, it feels so strange to me. As if I hadn’t been here for a very long time. Like there was a different person that was at the end of this bedroom, leaning on the door frame.

That’s exactly how it felt.

The smaller but many feelings that are inevitably enveloped by this big one are in itself obscure. Ineffable. But yet, all together, give me such a deep sickness that it is impossible to ignore. It sits deep in my stomach, however feeling like it’s digging a hole right through my very being. Nothing really feels right anymore. Is it right to say that? I don’t feel like it is. Yet it still rings true.

There’s a common sense inside me that tells me I should talk to someone. To go and tell Undyne exactly how I’m feeling right now, or how every time I look at Asgore now all I feel is this desperate calling to tell him everything. Yet my heart and stomach hiss at the notion. I can’t bring myself to tell them these thoughts, my deepest thoughts. I don’t know why I can’t, but it’s as if my heart has already made thousands of reasons why I shouldn’t. I can’t list a single one, however.

Maybe it’s because I’m scared to tell them?

Maybe I’ve become too closed off?

Do I not want to burden them?

Do I think I deserve this as some sort of punishment?

All of these questions ring to be true and false to me. There is a constant clash, a constant nag that I cannot shake.

I wish so badly, so so badly for it to shake.

I begin to hear more and more voices downstairs, and I take it as my signal to head down as well. I’ve never been to a regular funeral before, since the Dreemurr family and I buried Asriel on our own, so as I walk down and see all black and Monster crests, it feels so unorthodox to me. Like it’s a ragged, wicked puzzle piece amidst the stash of others. However I, myself, am dressed accordingly.

Asgore notices me coming from down the stairs, and give a thin smile before walking away. I do the same.

I notice other people begin to notice me too, with weird, varied looks. Some seem pitiful, some seem sad, or in a melancholy disbelief. Some others… I can’t really tell what they’re trying to say with the eyes that hover over me.

I look over to the side of the room to see Undyne hunched over the kitchen counter, doing something. Deciding to walk over her, I see that she has a drink in her hand.

“Hey, are you okay?” I ask.

Undyne looks to me, her face deadpan before realising it’s me.

“Hey Frisk,” she sighs. “Yeah. I’m alright I guess. Even though I feel like you shouldn’t be the one asking those questions, but the other way around.”

I don’t say anything as I simply look at the ground. I’m too exhausted. After a small moment, I muster all my energy to shrug my shoulders.

Nothing can be worse than this. Can it? Can anything ever be worse than this? The memories fresh in my mind of my mother and I playing in our garden; of her soft hands braiding my hair- or baking our pies- tainted by the very moment I saw her soulless pupils. Tainted by this moment- right here, right now. The moment in which I wear a black dress and bury my mother’s corpse. The moment in which people cannot look me in the eye. Yes; that taints.

Every heartache, every stride, every plea and adventure is overwhelmed by this recent tsunami. A polluted tsunami. Can it ever be cleaned? Will it always be this way? I feel as if it might.

It hurts my heart. It hurts my SOUL. I can feel it quaking.

“Hey- Frisk… Frisk!”

My head shoots up with wide eyes as I stare into Undyne’s. She snaps her fingers in front of me to make sure I’m actually giving her attention before saying something.

“Geez, punk. I lost you there for a moment. Are you going to be okay?”

I nod my head, and I begin to make my way towards the door as people file out as well- about to begin the procession.

* * *

 

 

We all walk out into the garden. All the way to the back of the garden, in the center of that, is where they decided to put Toriel’s urn. At first there was a spicket, but they had decided to remove it to be able to put her there instead.

I can’t take my eyes off the urn as it sits there, right in front of the hole it’s about to be placed in. Not until someone rests their hand on my arm, and I wearily move my head to see who it is.

It was a lady that had rested her hand on me; she had scales almost like Undyne, but different. They seemed similar, but you couldn’t quite put your finger on it until she said something.

“Hello, Frisk, it’s really nice to meet you. I’m David’s mom.”

It hit you. This was Monster Kid’s mom- one of the children who had died with Toriel in the fire.

Her face was solemn, as if there was no light in her world. No spark or twinkle in her eye to reside there.

“I would just like to give my condolences. And I would also like to thank you for running in there,” she croaked, tearing up. “There are just so many years- you know? So-s so many years lost…”

I started to tear up as I looked away for a moment, trying to stop myself from crying before looking back at her. “I know. And I’m sorry that I couldn’t get there in time for any of them.”

Her eyes widen in disbelief and once again she rests another hand on my shoulder. “Frisk. Look at me. I might not be someone that you even remotely know, but know this: it is not your fault. You did your best.”

I nod my head and let a polite smile rest on my face as she turns and leaves.

_**It is your fault.** _

_It **is** my fault._

_**Your best is never good enough, isn’t it Frisk?** _

_No. No, it really isn’t._

The Monsters leading the procession begin to lower the urn into the ground. An entire being, their memories, themselves, lowered into the ground.

**WE CAN BE A FAMILY!**

My throat closes up as the garden around me loses its focus.

**I MADE THIS SPECIALLY FOR YOU, FRISK!**

I can’t move my feet. I can’t move my body at all.

**NOW WE CAN ALL BE TOGETHER. FOREVER.**

I can feel tears falling down my face as the scene plays over and over in my mind. I can’t move my arms to wipe my tears away- I’m frozen.

I can feel the dirt hit my face over and over as I’m buried alive.

I try to scream, but my throat emits no sound.

I can feel it again,

Again,

Again,

Again.

I hear something from afar. I can… feel something… I think.

Nothing compares to this though.

I can finally scream out in my dream as I break into a sob, my entire body going numb from an originally blinding pain- leaving my entire body to feel empty. I can feel it again as another piece of my SOUL breaks off, materializing into dust.

I can feel my body shaking. Then, I can feel my body shaking again. It’s different though, this time. It’s forceful, and not out of pain.

“Frisk. Frisk!”

The sounds around me feel like I’m under pressure- in a water tank. Everything hurts, and yet everything is numb. As if everything was nothing, and nothing was everything.

I can’t control my breathing in the slightest, and I can’t stop breathing heavily even though it hurts indescribably.

_Please don’t please don’t, please don’t let it happen again-_

I can’t calm myself as I feel more shaking and more shouting and more shaking and I can’t breathe and-

“ _Frisk!_ ”

Everything comes crashing down around me- my dream, my wicked, wretched dream, and _him_. The person I’ve had been told was one to love; one that was killing me.

I begin to stumble as everything shifts back to reality. The world around me is dizzy, and the pain will not go away. An inordinate pain surrounds my very being- washing over the former benumbing. All that surrounds me begins to blur as I shriek a surrender to pain; beginning to fall to the ground as yet another piece of my SOUL breaks off.

Something prohibits me from falling to the ground. I am too immobile, too weak to move- to even look up to see who it is that is holding me. Soon enough though, the scent is enough to give it away. The delicate, smoky scent of a burning flame. The aroma of tomatoes and home. I know whose arms I am in.

He lowers me down to the carpet. The carpet? When did he move me?

What had happened when I was gone?

He holds my back, rubbing it, keeping me close to his chest.

“It’s okay. It’s okay.”

He begins to rock slightly back and forth; all sense leaves me as I tug on his suit shirt with my two hands and sob ludicrously into the fabric. Is this what it feels like, to be held again? By anyone? It’s been so long since the feeling.

There is sudden silence as my crying stops. Amidst the now stiff room, my voice breaks in a sudden whisper.

“Don’t let me go.”

He seems to grip me tighter. When he does, I feel a sense of security. Like all made sense for a moment. But soon enough, his hold loosens- my body slowly slipping to the carpet.

I stay still on the ground. There’s a part of me that can’t move- but an even greater part of me that simply doesn’t want to anymore.

Through the corner of my eye, I see him staring back at me. There’s something in his eyes. Maybe sympathy- I’m not sure.

I can feel tears prickling at the corner of my eyes, but not a sound leaves my pressed lips. My heart drops, and turns cold.

He slowly turns around, walking away from me.

“Sorry,” he mumbles.

And with that, I hear the front door open and close.

* * *

 

 

I lay here still. Something inside of me wonders how long I’ve been gone for, but the rest of me can barely produce enough energy to care.

He left. Just like that. He said sorry, but was he really? Was it easy for him- to let me go and walk away?

It keeps playing through my head. As if it shouldn’t have ended that way. Like the moment was stale- or incomplete. Jagged, and unfinished.

I can’t sit here anymore. It’s eating at me- the feelings that swirl inside me.

With a push, I slowly get up from where I was laying. I don’t bother to look for a clock, and with a push of the front door I see people leaving the garden. The ceremony had apparently already ended; Looking over to the garden, I can see the fresh patch of dirt in the area that Toriel’s urn was buried.

Gazing over the landscape, I can spot a few people from the crowds. Asgore is standing by one of the bushes, a line of people shuffling past him as they shake his hand. I can only assume they’re giving their condolences. In the line, I can see Papyrus and Mettaton, dressed up in the familiar black attire. Papyrus looks deeply downtrodden, while Mettaton looks mildly uncomfortable.

There are a few other deeply familiar faces before I spot Undyne and Alphys in the midst of the crowd. They seem to be bickering about something, but from this far away I can’t hear anything that they’re saying. It isn’t until Undyne throws her hands up in the air in only what I can assume is rage, and storms off, that I go over to speak to her.

“Undyne, what’s wrong?” I worried.

Undyne let out a loud huff, her teeth and fists clenching. “I just, I just don’t even want to talk about it right now. Just Alphys pulling shit again.”

I frown in frustration, ignorant to knowing how to comfort Undyne at a time like this.

“I’m… really, really sorry.” I lamented.

Undyne pats my shoulder, her smile molded from thin lines. “It’s okay. Hey, do you think we should maybe go to Asgore now? I really think he needs some people right now.”

Turning my head to the side, I see Asgore standing by Toriel’s grave, uncomfortably still. The only thing I can feel at the moment as I look at him is a cumbersome feeling; I lost someone, too- my own mother, yet I still can’t seem to think that I feel what he feels. Now, in this belligerent moment.

However, Undyne steps towards him without a second thought- unlike myself.

“Hey,” Undyne says in a benign tone, lightly putting her hand on Asgore’s shoulder.

Asgore looks towards her and feigns a smile, his head then fixating back onto the earth in which Toriel lay. There’s something inside me, a guilt perhaps, that pangs inside me because I can’t even bring myself to walk over to him- to be there for him. It stings; yet my feet seem to be buried in the ground below me, like another urn.

“Hello?”

We all turn around to spot Grillby, Snowden’s restaurant owner. He, like the rest, also dons all black.

“Hey Grillby,” I reply. “Are you okay?”

Grillby’s eyes widen slightly behind his glasses. “O-oh, yeah I’m… well, I am as okay as I can be right now.”

I nod slightly in agreement, and he began to stutter at the beginning of his next sentence, “I, w-well, I was wondering if you guys would like to come back to my restaurant. To all spend some time together. There are already a lot of people who are going, so I thought I’d ask you guys as well.”

I glance over to Undyne and Asgore, waiting for their reaction.

“Sure, I’ll go… Unless you don’t want to go, Asgore,” Undyne murmurs.

Asgore sighs before resting himself on the ground, sitting in front of Toriel’s grave.

“I think I’ll stay. But I want you guys to go, okay? Don’t stay just because of me. I think I would prefer to be alone right now, anyway.”

Undyne and I look at each other and then to Asgore again with apologetic eyes before following what he asked of us. There is no way either of us would reject him- not right now.

* * *

 

 

“So, how has your business been doing up on the Underground?” Undyne inquired.

Grillby smiled. “It’s been going pretty well, actually. Obviously it’s mainly just Monsters that stop by, but the business is well.”

That was about it for the conversation as we drove to the restaurant. Honestly, there wasn’t that much to say, either. How do you say anything at a time like this?

My mind shuts down, as if I’m completely frozen in time.

In moments like these, I feel like these are the only times I can feel at peace. These are the times when I can feel numb, unthinking.

“Frisk. Hey, Frisk..?” I finally snap out of my initial gaze, peering over at Undyne.

“I’m sorry, I was just out of it, I guess.”

“It’s okay,” Undyne reassures. “We’re here now, though.”

I nod and get out of the car along with them, us then walking into the restaurant together. The setting was almost identical to Grillby’s old restaurant in Snowden, and it brought a sense of nostalgia that was both peculiar as well as slightly welcoming.

Grillby was right when he said lots of people came. I can see just about everyone here, however the crowds began to make me squeamish somewhat.

“Hey, Undyne?” I whispered to her amongst the crowds.

“Yeah?”

“Can we just- get a table or booth to ourselves? There are just so many people here…”

“Oh, sure. I don’t mind,” Undyne said, giving a faint smile.

Undyne and I were luckily able to find a booth near the bar that was open, so we had sat down and ordered something to drink. As we sit, I glance around the room quietly. I don’t remember there ever being a time in my life where I was uncomfortable with being near too many people, being too _close_ to them, yet here I am feeling it now. The feeling alone makes me uneasy- on top of the one from the mass crowds.

As I’m looking, I notice him.

Sans sits at the bar, alone. I can tell he has a drink in his hand, but he’s so hunched over I can’t tell what exactly it is. As almost if he could detect I was looking at him, he takes a swift look as to what was behind him before settling his eyes on mine in instinct. His pupils dim, almost to the purest of blacks, before quickly turning back around in his seat again.

Once again can I feel the sore, throbbing pains from my SOUL.

My vision settles on the floor before blurring intrinsically, rendering myself and my conscious dissonant from the world around me.

How can one just leave? Just like that? As if they had died, as well?

It almost is as if he is dead to me. Tears well in my eyes at the thought.

His embrace. That embrace alone was the most comfortable feeling I’ve had in a long time. But yet, ever so fleeting, it’s gone. Just like him. Just like Toriel.

It pains me too much to think about it for a second longer; here I am, though, a second more.

“You know, we just need to give up on this whole thing together. Humans and Monsters will never work together- it’s just not ‘gonna happen. We shouldn’t even go and find the guys that did this. What’s going to happen to them, you know? That’s right, nothing. The place is burnt to hell. That’s about it.”

My attention focuses on those words, my entire body freezing from the Monster who said it. A humanoid-turtle, sitting and hunched at the bar, shakes his head from his words and the news airing on the television above him.

I look over at Undyne, feeling guilty I hadn’t said anything to her this entire time. I can immediately tell her agitated face, as she tries to get up from the booth.

“Listen here you old f-”

“Undyne!”

Undyne shifts to look at me, her face in bewilderment at my sudden call.

“Don’t. Please, sit back down.”

She hesitated for a moment, honestly considering confronting the Monster at the bar. Listening to my plea, though, she sat back down in the booth.

“Frisk, what are you talking about? That guy- are you just going to let him get away with saying something like that?”

I feel lifeless at her words. As if I should feel something- but I can’t.

“He’s right.”

Undyne’s eyes widen as the words leave my mouth. My eyes begin to focus on the news that airs, however. News that, every day, tells of racism against Monsters. Terrorism against Monsters. Human Elitism. Violence. Crime.

“He’s right. All of it is right. And there’s nothing we can do about it.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I seriously think this was the hardest chapter as of yet that I've had to write. I hope you guys understand why. It was honestly so difficult, and at 12AM approximately, I'm still wondering if I got everything /just/ right. I hope so. And I hope you guys like it! 
> 
> \- "Rhodi" Rachel


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